A Happy Family
by Cheerful Regression
Summary: Naruto's childhood was filled with people who hated and hurt him. When he becomes a part of the team he becomes friends with Sasuke. They're either going to help or destroy each other. SasuNaruSasu Warning: Disturbing child abuse
1. Chapter 1

This is my first Naruto story and it is not a very pleasant one.

This is Naruto's past. The first three chapters take place when Naruto's only six, but then there is a time-skip that will take him up to the start of the series with the rest of the characters. It will lead to an eventual SasuNaruSasu pairing.

Disclaimer: I don't own it.

**Warning:** This story contains disturbing descriptions of child-abuse. It will be disturbing and and may possibly triggering for people who have suffered abuse in the past. Please do not read this is you are sensitive to such material.

* * *

Quote:

"People fear death even more than pain. It's strange that they fear death. Life hurts a lot more than death. At the point of death, the pain is over. Yeah, I guess it is a friend."

- Jim Morrison

"The only antidote to mental suffering is physical pain."

- Karl Marx

* * *

Naruto was extremely excited about being adopted. He did his best to sit still on the chair that was high enough for him to swing his legs back and forth. He didn't catch the annoyed expression of the secretary until the man finally said, "Quit fidgeting."

Naruto pulled his legs up onto the chair with him, and began to bite his nails instead, needing to express his nervousness somehow. His head was filled with plans and ideas about the future. He had seen families before, he knew how much they cared about each other and how they would hug and kiss and play games. He had seen Christmases and birthdays that he'd never really been able to celebrate before.

He was only five years old, but he had already run away from the orphanage three times because of how little he got along with everyone there. He couldn't place why he didn't get along with them. He didn't realize that it was difficult to get along with the people that hated him. All he knew was that no matter what he said or did people would get upset with him.

So the orphanage had actually set about little ads offering him for adoption. Naruto didn't realize exactly how unusual this was, or how angry it made the people who claimed to care about him. To send out an advertisement offering _Uzumaki Naruto_ as a child looking for parents to take care for him.

It had taken about a week and a half and then the woman in charge had smiled at Naruto (and he would've been able to count the number of times that this had happened on one hand- had he known how to count) and told him that a wonderful couple were coming to pick him up the next morning.

He was going to have a family.

He'd done his best when he'd gotten dressed that morning, trying to comb his hair with his fingers and pat it down into place. He'd carefully washed his face and neck, and scrubbed beneath his nails. The woman in charge had given him a new outfit to wear and Naruto took great pains to keep it clean during breakfast.

He had one friend in the orphanage, a little girl named Sissy. They'd celebrate holidays together by giving each other little trinkets they'd found, even though they usually broke shortly afterwards and he'd crawl into bed with her during the nights when one of them had a nightmare. She had sighed enviously when she heard that he was going to have a home and she'd given him a kiss on the cheek and a rock that she'd found in the shape of a heart when they'd been outside. "I'll miss you," she whispered to him, "but I'm glad that you found people to love you."

* * *

The couple that picked him up were attractive. They both had lovely features and they both were in good shape and well-dressed.

"You must call me mommy," the woman said with a firm smile as she leaned down in front of Naruto and brushed a hair from his eyes. "And you must call him daddy."

The man gave Naruto an extremely faint smile.

Naruto smiled back at them hesitantly and felt slightly reassured when their smiles didn't fade. "Okay…mommy," he said, relishing the foreign word.

The woman's smile tightened for a moment as did her grip on his hand, but she released both before they became too painful. "Your daddy and I have a brand-new bedroom all ready for you at home. You'll love it. Are you ready to come home with us?"

Naruto smiled, feeling shy and happy for the first time in his very short life, and nodded.

They owned their own home with a full-yard and Naruto looked around for any toys or trikes, but didn't allow himself to feel discouraged when he didn't see any. So long as he had his very own parents…

The neighbors glared at him, but he didn't notice and mommy just gave them a slight assenting nod before continuing inside.

Naruto's room was at the end of the hallway. He was a bit surprised when he looked inside. There was no bed for him as best he could tell, instead there was a large, fancy pink crib with faded pink sheets decorated in teddy bears. There was a white dresser to the side, with a matching train of bears in tutus on the shelves. He could see a few toys in the corner, but they didn't look like they were meant for him, they were old and seemed too babyish.

"This is where you'll be sleeping," said mommy, "I'll put you in bed and then you will stay there until I come get you in the morning."

"Um…" Naruto began hesitantly, "Where am I going to sleep?"

"In the crib, Naruto," mommy said with a little laugh, "Don't worry about the sides being too high I'll put you in it."

"Oh. But I can sleep in a big-kid bed. I did at the orphanage."

"Well this isn't the orphanage, Naruto, here you are going to sleep in this bed."

He did his best to clean himself and his teeth in the bathroom.

Naruto was excited for the going to bed part of the evening. He'd seen it through windows, how both parents would come to the bed and pull the blankets around the child and then kiss them before turning off the lights and leaving the door open.

He'd wanted to be a part of that ritual for a very long time.

He stood beside his new bed and waited until mommy walked in. "Time for bed, Naruto."

With that she lifted him into the crib and handed him a faded baby blanket that was also pink. "See you in the morning," she said.

Naruto had a very empty feeling in his stomach. "A-are you going to give me a kiss good-night?" he whispered softly.

Mommy froze by the door before turning with a quick jerk. Naruto felt startled for a moment but then mommy's eyes changed back to almost-normal. "A kiss?" she said with slight amusement, "Why not?"

Naruto tilted his head up, expecting the lips to graze his forehead warmly. He was completely unprepared for the mouth that jammed sharply against his or the tongue that slid roughly over his lips. He gasped lightly as he pulled back and stared at her. After a moment's pause mommy smiled. "Good night, Naruto," she said before closing the door tightly behind her, leaving the room in complete darkness.

* * *

He was awake for a few hours before mommy came to get him.

"I'm going to work soon, so after you eat I'm going to put you back in the crib to make sure you don't hurt anything while I'm gone."

"I won't touch anything," Naruto said softly as he followed mommy to the kitchen.

She placed a plate with some banana slices on it in front of him as well as a packaged breakfast bar, "The banana is breakfast, but the bar is for you to eat while I'm away, so don't eat it now."

"Can I come with you to work?" he asked.

She laughed and shook her head. "They don't want distractions there, Naruto, and you need to stay in one place."

"Can I just stay in the house then, and not just the crib?"

"We don't have time to talk about it. Eat your breakfast so that I can take you back."

Naruto spent the next several hours in the bedroom crib. He didn't know how long he was going to be there so he didn't eat the breakfast bar for a long time, just in case. He still hadn't opened it when mommy returned, even though his stomach was growling.

He knew how to deal with a growling stomach, he'd dealt with it all the time, after all. That's why it was important to keep food for when you knew that you were gonna need it.

He could hear mommy wandering around the living room and then opening the refrigerator and standing there for awhile. His stomach growled again.

"Mommy?" he tried.

The refrigerator door closed and mommy appeared at the door. "Oh Naruto. I forgot that you were here. Daddy will be home soon."

She crossed the room and picked him up before setting him down very quickly. "There are some toys if you want to play with them," she said, gesturing towards the pink infant toys.

"Actually, could I have some food first?" he said, "I'm hungry."

Mommy frowned. "Dinner won't be until later. I don't have time to get you anything."

"Oh."

"It's very rude of you to ask me," mommy said then, irritation creeping into her voice. Then she frowned deeply, "You need to be punished."

Naruto was startled. "But…why?"

"Apologize now. You're not allowed to question me either."

"I," Naruto said hesitantly, a sickening feeling in his stomach, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…upset you."

Mommy snorted, "Is that what you think the problem is?"

Naruto didn't say anything for a moment, "I'm sorry for…" he faded into silence.

Mommy rolled her eyes. "Hold out your arms," she said softly.

A slight shaking began and he slowly held out his arms. Mommy reached out to the delicate pastel dresser and picked up a heavy, metal hairbrush with soft bristles. Then she turned and took hold of Naruto's right arm and swiftly brought the brush down, striking his soft skin harshly. Naruto cried out as the metal bounced off of his little bone and a bruise started forming immediately. Without hesitation mommy struck him, further up on his arm. She made three more bruises before gently holding his left arm and carefully matched the placement of the previous hits.

Naruto was tearing up and very pale as he let his arm hang limply in her grasp.

"My poor Naruto," mommy said quietly after she put the brush back on the dresser. "Please never make me hit you again. Come here, my Naruto."

Naruto slowly moved closer to her and she wrapped her arms around his tightly. "Poor, poor Naruto," she said softly, rocking him closely. Her grip hurt the bruises. "It makes me angry with you to have to punish you like that. I get concerned and unhappy. Why do you make me unhappy?"

Naruto's tears began to have sound to them as he started whimpering.

"Hush, hush," mommy comforted, "I don't want to hear you cry."

Naruto's stomach grumbled again. "Apologize now," mommy said.

"I'm sorry," Naruto cried.

Mommy nodded. "I'm going to have to tell daddy when he gets home," she said, "You've made him unhappy too."

That dark pit was very heavy in Naruto's stomach. He buried his head in her breast and she gasped slightly. Then she sat back on the toy chest and pulled him into her lap. "Hush, hush," she said again and then kissed him, that strange kiss that made his crying a bit worse. "I told you to stop crying," mommy said gently before slapping him quickly across the face.

Then came the sound of the front door opening and Naruto shrank further into mommy's arms. "Come on," she said in that soft voice, "We need to go see daddy."

She held his hand loosely as he trailed behind her down the hall, holding his breath to stifle the tears. "I'm sorry," he said again in a weak voice.

Mommy shook her head.

Daddy was neatly hanging up his coat in the closet. "Hello," he said, inflection noticeably absent.

"I'm afraid Naruto was extremely disrespectful to me today," mommy said, "He needs to be punished."

Daddy sighed. "Naruto why would you make mommy upset like this? Are you always going to treat her like this?"

Naruto started crying harder. His cheek still stung and he tried to pull his hand from mommy in order to rub his arms, but she held onto it.

"I also told him to stop crying," mommy said.

"Go to the front porch," daddy said before heading to the kitchen.

Mommy watched as Naruto slowly walked to the door and stepped into the chilly air. "I'm sorry," he said again, "I'll be better."

_What did I do_? he thought worriedly. _I didn't know that I'd mess up so soon._

He felt frightened and terrible. How could he have disappointed them like this? He was shaking and he could feel his nose running, before he wiped it. There was a little girl and her older brother and mother sitting on a porch swing across the street. They watched him with impassive expressions.

Daddy stepped out onto the porch then and Naruto got a brief glance of a pitcher in his hand before ice cold water was suddenly poured in a rush over his head. He gasped in loudly as the ice cubes bounced on the wooden porch and slid in all directions.

He immediately began shivering earnest and tried to catch his breath. He wiped his eyes with the back of a wet wrist and blinked away the burning. His sopping shirt was freezing against his skin. Daddy moved around into his view and Naruto blinked at him, water droplets still sticking to his long lashes.

"You need to pick up the ice and throw it away in the trash can and then you need to go sit on that chair until you're dry. I don't want any water damage on the porch."

His hands were extremely white by the time he was finished. Mommy and daddy stood on the porch watching him in silence and the three across the street rocked gently on the porch swing as they watched him as well. Every time that he would glance up they were watching him with those blank expressions.

He was very afraid and so very cold.

Once he was finished and went to go sit on the corner of the porch mommy and daddy went inside. After awhile he could hear smell food and then heard the sounds of them eating dinner. They didn't speak to each other. He would have cried again if he hadn't been so cold.

The family across the street had gone inside quite awhile ago, but their blinds were open and he could see them interacting and laughing. The girl, who was probably about his age, crawled onto the mother's lap and lay there until she fell asleep. The boy did homework at the table.

It got dark.

The boy got up and he and his mother exchanged a quick peck before he headed off to bed.

Mommy came out. "You may come inside now, Naruto," she said.

He moved stiffly, his limbs painful as his sluggishly chilled blood moved through his limbs. "It's time for bed."

Naruto wanted to ask about a toothbrush and whether he could use the bathroom or take a bath, but mommy was very solemn and he didn't want to make her unhappy again. She lifted him into the crib and he whispered once again, "I'm sorry mommy."

She sighed and shook her head. "I'm still very upset. Don't talk to me."

His empty stomach squeezed painfully and the thin baby blanket did almost nothing to heat his body back up. He kept rubbing his limbs, but his arms hurt when he touched them and he felt dizzy with confusion and the very frightened feeling that made his head reel.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, "I'm sorry I made you sad. I won't do it again."

It figured that he would ruin his chance at family happiness. He messed up a lot after all. He wished that mommy wouldn't kiss him like that, it made him so nervous and her lips made him uneasy. He had only seen daddy smile once.

_I'll figure out a way to make them happy_, he thought wildly_, I'll make them something beautiful, and I'll give mommy Sissy's heart-rock. That made me happy when I got it._

Feeling a bit comforted he lay down, ignoring the pain in the arm he was lying on, and shivered his way to sleep.

* * *

Review Please!

Once again, there will be a time-skip to present after the third chapter. Please point out mistakes, things you like, things you hate, et cetera. Please forgive the 'starter' chapter, it always takes a bit for things to really get going.

Thanks again!

-Cheerful Regression

©ReAnimated Productions


	2. Chapter 2

All of my reviews were anonymous this time so I have no way of contacting anyone! However there was one question that I'd like to address of course.

The parents are OCs. I wish that I could have used actual characters, but there was no way without making them terribly OOC. But I want to make a quick mention of them. There is a specific reason why I've kept them in lower-case, just the 'mommy' instead of Mommy or Mom. I wanted to indicate that they are not proper nouns, they're not specific people or identities. I'm using them to represent all of the terrible people who would hurt Naruto throughout his childhood.

This chapter ended up taking a life of its own and so it claimed only one of the things that I had planned. One more chapter until we hit the present-day team and all of the other characters. But this is all necessary in order to explain his and Sasuke's relationship later.

Warning: As always, there is disturbing material. Adults treating a small child terribly and significant mental abuse as well.

Disclaimer: Place the standard disclaimer here. Make it something humorous.

* * *

Quote:

"I don't understand people who hide from their past."

-Sophia Loren

* * *

It was still dark when Naruto was shaken awake. "Wha-?" he asked sleepily, sitting up.

Mommy was standing over him, shaking his shoulder gently. She was fully dressed in an intricate style that Naruto was still too young to appreciate. All he knew was that she looked fancy.

"Come on Naruto," she said, "It's time for us to clean the house."

Naruto stared at her, and wiped at his eyes. He felt so tired. "Clean?" he asked.

He sat up and winced suddenly. Why did he feel so badly? Mommy smiled brighter, "Of course, Naruto. That's how you should begin every day. Cleaning the house."

Naruto nodded uncertainly and slowly stood up. Mommy picked him up and then placed him on the floor with a surprisingly strong grip. She took his hand Naruto let himself be dragged along and blinked at the hall clock that was ticking towards four thirty.

There was no food on the table and Naruto's stomach growled painfully. He put a hand on it and patted it, trying to make it forget about the pain because he wasn't going to complain. He was going to be the perfect little boy that his parents wanted.

Mommy didn't notice, apparently.

"Oh Naruto, we have so much to do today," mommy sighed, "We will be lucky to finish in time."

She stopped then to look at him with the oddest expression. "We _will_ finish on time though. Luck has nothing to do with it. Luck isn't real and we deserve what happens to us. Right, Naruto?"

He nodded uncertainly. Mommy flashed him a brilliant smile. "Let's get to work."

The entryway was where they started, mommy roughly scrubbing at the white tiles while Naruto polished the crevices of the wall and floor. He'd occasionally catch a splinter but when he first gasped at the sudden sting mommy didn't say anything so he just bit his lip and pulled it out. Mommy started talking to him as she continued her cleaning of the tiles that led down the hall.

"Daddy and I bought this house eight years ago, Naruto. It cost a lot of money, but we both work so we were able to save up for the down payment and then worked hard to be able to pay off the rest of it. We still have to make payments even now, but we were willing to do it because we really wanted to have room for a family. Aren't you glad to be here?"

"Yes," Naruto answered.

They moved into the living room, turning cushions, removing all dust from every surface. They took all of the books off of the bookcase and wiped them down before putting them back in alphabetical order, mommy reciting it out loud and asking Naruto to repeat the letters, arranging them so that the spines were perfectly aligned. They counted out the coasters so that each stack had three and then placed them so that they were evenly apart. They wiped down the curtains and then gathered them so that the ruffles came in gathers of three.

In the kitchen they took down every dish and washed them, even though they didn't look dirty. After dumping the trash, they washed out the inside of the trash can. The drawers were pulled out so that they could be washed and mommy scrubbed the floor with pink-tinged cloths and then carefully applied bandages to the places on her palms where blisters rose and broke under the intense pressure of her hands against the rough rags.

It was past nine when mommy sat back with the brilliant smile fading a bit and said, "It will have to do for now."

"Can I have a nap?" Naruto asked, opening and closing his fists in an effort to rid them of the sensation of holding a sponge.

"A nap?" mommy laughed, "You must get ready, Naruto. We're going to the store."

Naruto perked up a bit at the words. He loved the store, or going out in general. He was never able to go very often when he lived at the orphanage and being able to go out a lot was something that he was really looking forward to when he grew up.

"Yeah?" he asked excited.

"Yeah," she repeated happily. "Go and change, I bought you new clothes and they are in the bag in your closet."

The bag contained _fancy_ clothing fancier, by far, than anything he had ever owned before and almost fancier than anything he had seen other children wear. The dark clothing was a size too small and he was a bit uncomfortable as he tried to shrug into the outfit, but he finally managed to button everything into place and headed out to meet mommy.

She had changed again into an equally intricate outfit, her hair styled carefully and makeup applied generously.

"You look beautiful mommy," Naruto said shyly, hoping it was the right thing to say.

She frowned when she saw Naruto. "Oh, you chubby little Naruto," she said, "Why should I buy you clothes if that's what it's going to look like on you? You need to lose some weight!" there was a dark edge to the light teasing.

Naruto looked down, squirming uncomfortably. He didn't know how to lose weight, how would he fix this problem? He needed to make mommy happy.

"We will just have to make sure that you don't eat very much, right!" she said, regaining her vivacity.

Naruto nodded, looking up again. "Right," he said softly.

Then she took his hand again and they walked quickly, Naruto had to trot to keep up, out of the house.

* * *

Spree would be the most correct way to describe their trip. Naruto had never been on anything quite like it before, all he knew was that it was like a whirlwind of action. They walked from store to store and mommy bought something at each and every one that they visited.

The things that she bought varied wildly, inconsistency seemed to be her theme, as she bought fancy clothing for herself, new sponges, books, hats. She bought Naruto a pair of magnifying eye-glasses that made him dizzy when he wore them and then laughed hysterically when he put them on. He started laughing as well and kept them on longer just to keep her laughing. She decided that she wanted to learn how to quilt so she bought several packages of materials as well.

When there was so much that they were no longer able to carry it all, mommy cheerfully asked the owners to deliver it to their home. Naruto's shoes began to pinch his feet after awhile, but mommy was in such a good mood and everyone seemed so happy that he ignored it.

It was getting harder and harder to ignore the curling pain in his stomach. He was used to always being a bit hungry in the orphanage, the food there wasn't very good and he'd get sick if he ate too much of it, but it had been over a day since he had last eaten.

They had just walked out of a small shop with a wooden floor layered in dust where mommy had purchased a series of horse figurines when Naruto finally said something. "Mommy, is it time for lunch?"

"Oh Naruto," mommy laughed, "Of course you are thinking about food."

She pulled him firmly along like she was holding the leash to her dog instead of his little arm, and they were standing in the tiled entrance of a fancy restaurant. The light was shockingly dim after the brightness of being outside, and even with the climate controlled coolness, Naruto too warm in the absence of a breeze.

"We need a table for two," mommy said, and the hostess looked startled by the sudden request before masterfully hiding it beneath a professional and welcoming smile.

"Of course. This way please."

The tables were very small and very round. If the plates on them had been normal sized then they would never have been able to fit on the table-top. A lot of the tables were filled, but most of the plates and the wine glasses were nearly empty so clearly the lunch-rush was about over.

It felt like everyone was staring at him. It raised in him that panicky feeling that he was being trapped somehow and he wanted to find a small and dark place to hide. He caught the eye of a man with a full face and elegant eye-brows and Naruto attempted a friendly smile. The man's eyes widened and his lip curled for a moment before he looked away quickly and Naruto was left with the feeling of having done something incredibly wrong.

The hostess pulled mommy's chair out while Naruto climbed on his own tall seat and was a bit intimidated by the fact that his elbows were only just level with the edge of the table. Mommy ordered a white wine and Naruto was in a bit of awe at how sophisticated she was. He had only ever seen drunks before and he knew with certainty that mommy was not a drunk, she was far too beautiful and she was a _mommy_.

Naruto concentrated hard on the menu in front of him. The script was slanted and connected and he couldn't recognize anything. Not that he knew how to read to begin with. He had heard other little children recite strings of letters before and he realized that it was something called the alphabet and he knew that it made the grown-ups really happy to hear the rhyme. Naruto silently added that to his list of things that might make mommy happy.

But he still didn't recognize any of the letters. So he began sneaking glances at the tables around them, trying to see if he recognized any food by name. Maybe he could just list something that he saw and just…pretend that he knew what was going on.

He was so busy trying sneak glances at the other tables that he didn't notice mommy smiling at him until a full minute had gone by. When he suddenly caught her gaze he looked up startled but then smiled as well.

The waiter came back and asked mommy in an evenly measured voice if she was ready to order.

She blinked up at him and balanced her wine glass between her thumb and middle finger, trying to swill its contents despite having too little. "I need another glass of wine. What do you suggest for accompaniment?"

The waiter measured the emptiness of the glass and then mommy's light frame. "Might I suggest the fluke sashimi with your Sancerre?" he said with a politely blank voice.

Mommy tilted her head slightly, her eyes unmoving. "I suppose."

The waiter nodded and his eyes flicked to Naruto. Naruto had felt a deep sense of worry when he had first heard the formal tone, and now his cheeks were lightly flushed with his embarrassment. "I," he began, "I don't…don't know-"

"What are you talking about Naruto?" mommy cut in.

Naruto looked at her and then the waiter who was watching him with one eyebrow elevated. Naruto squirmed uncomfortably. "I don't know what…" he tone was fading quickly, "…what to order," he finished in a whisper.

Mommy let out a quick laugh. "Goodness, Naruto, what do you think you're doing?" she looked back at the waiter, "I apologize for him, he doesn't know anything about manners yet."

The waiter didn't meet her eyes, he looked ahead of him while his nimble fingers adjusted the knot on his silk tie. "Yes. We typically wouldn't allow him in here, madam. We're making an exception today."

"I understand. I know that I really shouldn't have brought him in-"

"We've had three complaints. Two from very important people."

"I plan to compensate you well for the inconvenience."

The waiter's posture changed ever-so-slightly and he touched the tips of his fingers against the tie again. "You consideration is appreciated."

Mommy smiled, letting her fingers run around the rim of the glass. "I can't leave him outside. He might be taken away from me after all."

"I'm afraid I cannot sympathize with you."

"I'd like my wine now."

Naruto's cheeks were hot. He'd messed up badly and he wasn't sure how. "I'm sorry mommy," he said, and reached up to push some hair off of his skin that was sweaty with the flush of his embarrassment.

Mommy frowned lightly at him. "We agreed earlier that you need to lose weight. It embarrasses me to have people see you with me. What do you think they think when they see you?"

Naruto didn't know how to answer. His mouth was slightly open as he tried to come up with something to say. As the silent moment increased mommy looked at him again with an expression that was quickly losing its patience. "What do they think, Naruto?"

"Th-they don't like me," he said in a quiet, unsure voice.

Mommy nodded. "They don't like you. Do they think that you are good-looking or ugly?"

"They think that I'm ugly?" Naruto said, trying to figure out what the right answer was.

Mommy shook her head in disappointment at the small figure that was shrunk so small in the large seat. "You aren't supposed to _ask_ me, Naruto. Say it like you understand."

Naruto took a deep breath before speaking again in a small voce. "They think I'm ugly."

"Do you think they want you to die, Naruto?"

His eyes widened. "Y-yes," he said after a moment.

Mommy leaned in a bit closer and spoke in a more conspiratorial tone, "Do you think there's a single person in this room that doesn't hate you?"

Naruto lowered his head which was beginning to hurt. "I don't know," he almost whimpered.

"Look around."

He had to steel his nerves in order to raise his head enough to look around. But there was no real point to looking around, everyone completely ignored him. The few times that he caught someone's eyes the connection would be cut off abruptly as the person would forcefully turn away.

"Is there anyone that doesn't hate you?" mommy asked again.

They were all eating desserts, small plates with odd colors. Occasionally there'd be a few women that had abstained though it appeared to make them unhappy. One thick-bodied woman caught him looking and glared at him. He drew his eyes away sharply and suddenly met the startled gaze of a child at another table. He was used to the children at the orphanage and his lips automatically tilted in a quick smile.

The other child, so very pale, stared at him for a moment and then scowled darkly enough to almost be murderous.

Naruto turned back to mommy. "You don't hate me, right mommy?" he asked softly.

The waiter returned then and she didn't answer.

* * *

This is the end of Chapter 2. I've decided to start doing more regular updates, so expect updates every Saturday night. I really appreciate the reviews, please tell me what you think of my work!

-Cheerful Regression

©ReAnimated Productions


	3. Chapter 3

Hey everyone, I said that I'd have the update every Saturday, and so here it is. I love my reviewers, thank you so much! CheerfullyPessimistic, kingdomheartsforevs, and dragonfly_dust, the three of you _rock_. I'm sorry that I can't send a review reply dragonfly_dust, but thank you anyway!

There needs to be an additional warning on this one. There is **extremely disturbing abuse** in this chapter, extremely vicious, and very disturbing. If you are sensitive to things such as this it may very well be triggering. If you feel as though you don't want to read this, you can either choose not to (in which case, thank you for checking this out in the beginning), or simply skip this chapter.

Next chapter is actually a major timeskip, and you will see a lot of the other Naruto characters.

Thanks to my beta, Sam 3000 Bath.

Disclaimer: I don't own it.

* * *

"Welcome to my nightmare. I think you're going to like it. There'll be some more when you come down."

-Alice Cooper

* * *

By the end of seven weeks the idea of food was nauseating to Naruto. He was afraid of the idea of eating anyth-

"_You're hungry, Naruto? Why is that all I ever hear from you is about how hungry you are, and how much food you want, and how much you don't _care_ that I'm busy right now? How can you be so selfish?"_

"_I…I-"_

"_Well then by all means, let me stop what I'm doing right now and get right to preparing your meal? Does sushi sound good? How about sushi and botamachi? Ohagi and chimaki? I know, I'll add hamo and skihan. I'll spend the rest of the day making these for you, since nothing is as important as your big, fat stomach, right Naruto?"_

"_Mommy-"_

"_Let's go knock on all the neighbors' doors to see if they have the ingredients for us to borrow. You'll have to come as is. No, leave your shoes off! This is too important, right? We have to hurry, don't we?"_

"_Please, we don't have to go-"_

"_What have I told you about crying?!"_

-ing. Or being seen eating. Even being in the kitchen was enough to make him shiver with trepidation. It was enough to make his stomach-

"_There, Naruto. It's taken seven hours, but you don't mind, do you? I know that you're fine with us doing all of this work for you. I cut my fingers six times, but it'll heal, right? And I don't mind taking pain, for you, it's what families are about, creating pain for each other, right? You bring me such pain."_

"_I don't know what I should say! I'm sorry!"_

"_I don't want to see you crying anymore! And see, now you've made my hand hurt again. Get back up off the ground! Go sit at the table, I've used all the best china, all of it. I hope that it's good enough for you, Naruto! Sit down! Now eat. Eat it all. Every single bite."_

"_I can't-"_

"_I'll sit across from you, and every time I see you take a bite, I'll remember all of the work that I put into it, all of the time. I'll remember the pain in my fingers and how hungry I am. I wasn't able to eat, after all, while I made this for you. We won't be able to sleep until you're finished, so hurry up. It's almost three a.m."_

-hurt so badly. Incredible pain that made him want to scream like he heard pregnant girls scream as they gave birth in the orphanage floor before dying. But he knew better than to-

"_I can't eat anymore. I'm going to throw up."_

"_No no no. You aren't going to waste all of this food. This is how much I love you, Naruto. Here vomit into this…that's disgusting. Just remember that when you're done eating all of the rest of the food, you're going to have to consume that as well. This is my love for you."_

"_No! Please, I can't-"_

"…_You're only making more work for yourself. It would be better just to try to keep it down the first time around. Surely you've got a large enough stomach."_

"_I can't eat anymore…"_

"_Stop. Crying! I can't _stand_ the sound of your tears, you make my heart break."_

-say anything. He didn't want to upset mommy or daddy. He was always messing up and making them feel bad. Why couldn't he be better?

At least he fit into the clothes now, though they were a bit baggy.

And his hands were finally callusing over, so the skin didn't break during the morning scrubbing of the floors and the walls. He'd woken up a few weeks ago with a burning in his hand and discovered that the big blister on his right hand palm was broken and oozing a thick yellowish pus. The skin around it was black and it smelled so badly that he tried to hold it as far away from his nose as he could.

Mommy's expression had wrinkled at the putrid scent, and she gave him a bit of rag to cover it as they began the morning cleaning ritual. Thankfully the blackness disappeared during the next night.

But nights were kind of strange now. Daddy was always gone during the day, but during nights-

"_Wake up."_

"_Daddy?"_

"…_We're going on a walk."_

-they would leave the house and daddy would hold his hand which was nice because his hand was always warm and Naruto was always cold during the chilly nights. Daddy would forget to dress him, so they would head out in his pajamas.

"_W-where are we?"_

"_It's a cemetery. Full of rotting corpses with insects crawling through the cavities of their bodies and laying eggs and festering. Corpses that are buried beneath the grass and are made up of calcium, hair, and nails. One day, we'll be like this too."_

"…_I thought that cemeteries were peaceful?"_

"_This particular cemetery has the corpses of people torn apart by the demon that attacked our village. They died in terror and pain."_

-they went to remember people that Naruto began to dream about. People that he thought about all of the time-

"_Memorize them. Can you read?"_

"_No."_

"_Komatsu Aiko."_

"…"

"_Repeat it."_

"_Komatsu Aiko."_

"_Harakaki Noriko."_

"_Harakaki Noriko."_

"_Both of them."_

"_Komatsu A-A.."_

"_Aiko."_

"_Komatsu Aiko and Harakaki Noriko."_

-because they haunted him. The list of names was endless, constantly running through his head, and he couldn't remember where the list began and ended, because it would endlessly circle. He couldn't think anymore and he rarely tried. The only thing that he could truly remember was the revolutions of names.

He'd been woken up one night to find mommy instead of daddy standing over him. Whispering-

"_Naruto, my Naruto. Daddy's gone, he's gone gone gone gone gone."_

"_Mommy?"_

"_No. Mommy's me and I'm still here. Daddy's gone."_

"_He's missing?"_

"_He's cold."_

"_He's cold?"_

"_I'm cold too. You're cold too."_

"_I'm…"_

"_Do you think she's cold as well? She was so hot, but then she was so cold cold cold cold."_

"_Who?"_

"_Come here. We'll sleep together and we'll be cold together."_

"_In your bed?"_

"_The night will kill you Naruto. Daddy will save us. Can you save me?"_

"_I…I'll protect you."_

"_You'll kill me. As soon as you get the chance. We'll take a knife with us to the bedroom. I'll sleep with it on my chest so it can be easy. You'll never leave me, Naruto?"_

"_I'll stay with you. I'll protect you."_

"_You know I love you. It's only the two of us. Never never leave me. I don't want to be alone. You're alone. You're completely alone. Are you cold?"_

"…_yes."_

"_Hold the knife."_

-things that he tried to forget. Things that she didn't seem to remember saying. He felt so uncomfortable all of the time. And he felt cold too.

Daddy took him to the cemetery the next night and they learned three more rows of names.

Any time that he thought about food he had hold back vomit. He would go days without eating until mommy would sit him down in the kitchen chair and force some slightly mashed fruit into his mouth and would hold her hand firmly over lips until he managed to chew and swallow it. They'd stay that way until the vomit streamed into his mouth and then retreated down his throat.

He'd offered mommy Sissy's rock, but she'd harshly told him that rocks shouldn't be inside and held his hand over the trash until his fist opened and the rock landed at the bottom. He'd stifled back a few tears as he imagined the heart that had been so warm in his hand get colder.

Mommy had also taken him to the park. There were a few other kids playing there and after watching them cautiously for half an hour he shyly asked if he could join in. The kids stared at him for a moment before grinning and adding him to their ninjas game. He could feel the parents of the other children watching him, but no one said anything and the sun had felt so warm on his back.

When another child tackled him to the ground he actually relished the sensation of warm skin against his own and he blushed in pleasure. A different child, one that was on his team, the good side, grabbed his hand and they raced over to one of the trees and climbed up to one of branches where they sat together. The other child began to loudly taunt the other team who shouted in return.

There was a soft breeze that washed beautifully over Naruto's skin and he smiled.

His stomach contracted with a vicious emptiness and suddenly his vision doubled and it started fading to white. Then he was falling as he heard the yells from a distance. He didn't feel the ground beneath him, and there was no pain as he hit hard and his wrist snapped.

Mommy's soft voice was above him as it gave explanations to the other mildly curious parents and the concerned chi-

"_He's got a weak constitution and is ill a lot. He barely eats either, look at how thin he is."_

"_It must be hard to care for him then."_

"_It is, but I try to do my best. Maybe playing with the other kids is too hard on him. I'll take him to the hospital and get his wrist fixed."_

"_Bye Naruto! Play with you next time!"_

-ldren. Mommy had taken him home then and pulled at his wrist until it was straight again. As they waited in the living room for daddy to return, mommy commented that they might wait a few years before going back to the park to play again, to wait until he was in better condition. She giggled slightly, remarking about how Naruto played on the side of the 'good' ninjas.

It was a relief to Naruto that his wrist healed over the next few days.

Daddy. He-

"_What the fuck are you doing?"_

"_Mommy's asleep, so I'm just…"_

"_Who the fuck said that you could touch those?"_

"_They…they're in my room…"_

"_Put that down right now! Put it the fuck down, get your hands off of it! These toys aren't yours, they're precious!"_

"_Don't be angry daddy-"_

"_How could you do something like that? Why would you touch it, they're ruined now! And they were precious! Damn you!"_

"_I didn't break them!"_

"_You _touched_ them, you _moved_ them! Where is she?"_

"_M-mommy? She's sleeping…"_

-took a knife from the kitchen and made mommy scream a lot. And cry a lot. Until there was nothing in the world except for the sound of her anger and pain. And Naruto couldn't move, his hands were so cold and his body was completely frozen.

Then daddy. He-

"_Get over here, you fucking monster."_

"_Is mommy okay?"_

"_You hurt mommy. You made her bleed. You carved words into her skin and you made her cry."_

"_No I didn't. I wouldn't hurt mommy."_

"_I said get over here!"_

-had used that bloody knife again, in Naruto's bedroom. The screaming stopped, but Naruto had been able to hear the sound of whimpering and could smell tears. It was very cold.

Mommy cried and cried and cried. Daddy was gone again.

"_Should we run away Naruto? You told me that you'd protect me."_

"_I love you mommy."_

"_If you love me you should kiss me."_

"…_Okay."_

"_May I cut you? Will you let me cut you? I love you."_

"_Why do you want to cut me?"_

"_I love you. You said that you'd protect me."_

"…"

"_Let me cut your arms. It'll be beautiful."_

"…_you love me?"_

"_Don't ever ask me that."_

Daddy was back. He saw mommy sawing Naruto's bare arms and watched for a only seconds before grabbing Naruto by his hair and yanking him to his feet and out of mommy's grasp. He ordered mommy to tell Naruto that she hated him and she smiled gently, a bit of blood next to her eye-

"_I hate you, Naruto."_

-and turned to the knife to begin cleaning it as daddy dragged Naruto down the hall and into his bedroom. Daddy gave him a bag and-

"_You ruined them and you'll take them back to her."_

"_To mommy?"_

"_Put them in here! Tell me all the names!"_

"_Komatsu Aiko and Harakaki Nor-"_

-after Naruto had gathered all the toys, he yanked him down the streets, ripping mommy's cuts further as their breath colored the air and then they were at the cemetery again and Naruto's feet were bleeding from the scraps and daddy dragged him before throwing him on the grass in front of a grave.

"This one says Masako. She was alive for five months and she's been dead for six years. You've been playing with her toys and she'll never forgive you. No one is going to forgive you for what you've done. You killed her. You killed everyone here."

Naruto drew in a deep breath and tried to look up at daddy.

"She was very beautiful and she was with her grandmother when everything was engulfed in flames so hot that it cracked her bones. Masako was mommy's daughter and my daughter. You've been playing with her toys and she'll never forgive you. You've been sleeping in her bed and she'll never forgive you."

"H-how did I kill her?" Naruto's voice was quivering under the weight of his tears.

"Because you're a monster. You're the demon. But they all decided to give you another chance. They actually decided to let you be a child and to have parents that love you and a future! And you're going to stay with us, with parents that love you and you're going to have a future, you monster."

When they finally returned and daddy threw him in the door, mommy lazily got up from where she was lying on the couch and wrapped her arms around Naruto, letting him cry into her breasts as she stroked his hair and whispered to him that she loved him.

* * *

The next chapter is going to be a time-skip of about four to six years, and will involve many major character introductions.

Please review and tell me how I've done, if you see any mistakes, if you hate it, and what you would do to his parents if you could. (I hate them.)

Thanks!

-Cheerful Regression

©ReAnimated Productions


	4. Chapter 4

Here I am with an early update.

This is at the beginning of their team days. The parts that everyone knows I just dip into. There are differences in the character interactions because of the differences in their backgrounds, and I am messing with the timeline. This one starts out in Sakura's point of view (she's the most useful while keeping the introspection quiet, oddly enough).

The chapter carries the same warnings as the others.

* * *

"The opposite of love is not hate; it's indifference."

-Elie Wiesel

* * *

Sakura was thrilled. She was finally, _actually_, on a team with Uchiha Sasuke. The boy that she just _knew_ she was destined to marry. After she managed to bring him out of his shell, like a nut-cracker does to a nut.

She frowned. That wasn't a very flattering analogy. She would bring him out of his shell, like…like a flower blooming in the sun.

But then she was also on a team with Uzumaki Naruto. And that kid was _weird_. Seriously. He was always hyper-defensive and far too interested in everything that Sakura did. He was always watching her and he smiled whenever their eyes would meet. She was knew that he had a thing for her, which was irritating because she was _going_ to end up with Sasuke. It was her manifest destiny.

Still, she tried to keep her opinion of him decent, because it was due to him that she was on a team with Sasuke. Sasuke was the first in their class and Naruto was the absolute last. So Sakura had been in the perfect place (the middle) in order to balance them out.

It was surprising that Naruto had passed onto a team though, because, as far as Sakura knew, he had never passed a single test. Ever. But after his last failure and the graduation, there'd been some sort of meeting and suddenly there he was, ready to be assigned a team.

Team Kakashi, actually.

Sakura wanted to make a good impression on her new instructor (and Sasuke) so she dressed well and arrived quite early, just in case. And thus she was alone for the next twenty minutes until Sasuke appeared and, without even glancing at her, sat as far away as he could while still remaining in the general area. Sakura decided not to let it get her down, and just did her best to make sure that she was posed attractively at all times. Her one attempt at conversation was cut down.

"So, do you know our instructor? Kakashi?" she asked, having to use more of a calling-type voice to be sure that he could hear her.

He looked at her slowly then lifted and dropped one shoulder minutely and turned away. His movements were actually jerky with his iciness. So Sakura decided not to continue yet. Clearly what she should do here was to continue posing prettily.

When Naruto arrived he sat as close to Sakura as he could. "Hey," he said, "Do you know our instructor? Kakashi?"

"No," she said, shifting away from him.

"He's an adult," Naruto said.

That was a strange comment. Sakura didn't reply. Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "Do you like adults?"

Sakura blinked. "Um, I guess so. We have to respect adults after all."

"That's good."

Naruto pulled himself up and rubbed his ankle unconsciously. "Hi," he said towards Sasuke.

Sasuke ignored him. Naruto looked away.

A strange, awkward silence began to stretch between them. "Sakura? Do you go out with friends?"

"What are you talking about? What does that mean?"

Naruto looked startled, taken aback and suddenly unsure. "I…I mean, do you have friends that you like to spend time with, y'know, that you like?"

Sasuke glanced at Naruto without moving his head.

"Yeah," Sakura said. Was he a psycho?

"Wow…"

Yeah. He was a psycho.

"Do…do you-"

"I'd like to just think for awhile, okay? I don't feel like talking."

Naruto nodded immediately. "Right," he said softly. He stood up and moved away.

"So what is your name and your goals?"

Sakura answered, and Sasuke answered. It was just as expected, simple, predictable answers. Especially for Sasuke. Kakashi knew that he'd have to watch the kid, the darkness would end up consuming him.

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto and I…"

There was a long silence and Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

"…I can't think of anything."

"Why are you here then?" Sakura suddenly demanded.

"…I don't know."

"Idiot," Sasuke muttered.

"Uzumaki, find a reason by the next meeting."

Mommy was waiting to pick Naruto up. She was still dressed fashionably but was thinner than ever, hollows under her cheekbones. Naruto walked straight to her and let her take hold of his wrist, nevermind that he was twelve now.

"How was it, my Naruto?"

Naruto sighed, trying to work out the right answer. "It was fine."

"You are using my baby's opportunity. None of this is for your benefit, make sure that you never take any enjoyment from it."

"Right," his voice was so soft.

Mommy gave a sudden, hard jerk on his wrist and he stumbled forward as his wrist was twisted. But there was no damage, it was just to cause a bit of pain, something to tide her over. He didn't comment on the motion.

"Is that what I should tell them? When they ask why I'm doing this?"

"What do you mean?"

"The reason. What should I tell my instructor, he wants an answer. I can't think of anything."

"Oh Naruto, why is it that you can't do anything? Just tell them that you want to protect the village. Tell them what they want to hear, you're getting good at that, right?"

He nodded.

"Mommy?"

"What."

"Do you think that I can have friends?"

"No."

"Never?"

"No one wants anything to do with you. Why are you bothering to ask this, I thought that we've gone through this before? What is it people think when they see you? Do they like you?"

"No…"

And then mommy stopped and took hold of his other wrist. "Do you not believe that anymore, Naruto?" she asked, "Something gave you a different idea?"

"N-no. I _know_ that you're right."

"We need to be home _now_."

Once they were in the door, the door shut hard and the lights not yet on, gloom hitting harder than light ever did. "Lift your pant leg," mommy demanded.

Naruto winced and immediately lifted it a few inches, revealing his ankle. It was a swollen dark purple. Mommy didn't take off her shoes; she pushed him against the wall and then slammed her foot cruelly against his swollen ankle. Naruto grit his teeth. After all of this time he knew better than to make a cry. She kicked again and again until there was a snapping sound and he collapsed against the wall as his leg bone slid out of the ankle socket, completely dislocated.

Mommy stepped back, breathing a bit heavily. Naruto kept his head down so that mommy wouldn't be able to see the couple of tears that broke free of his eyes. He could take pain, but some bodily reactions couldn't be helped.

"Now," mommy said, "since there seems to be this idea you have, that perhaps someone doesn't hate you…go to the neighbors. Knock on every door and ask them for their opinion of you."

"I know that they hate me, mommy," Naruto said in an almost inaudible voice.

"Please don't upset me, Naruto," mommy said, pushing a lock of hair that had come loose back into place, "I love you so much, I need you to listen to me."

"I am."

"Go and ask the neighbors what they think of you."

Naruto didn't say anything else, he just stood up and limped out the door, doing his best not to show pain. Mommy hated to see him cry or limp. Or anything, actually.

"Try and get the bells."

It would have been easier if he weren't so exhausted. But he was exhausted and he couldn't think. His stomach had that churning twisting and he knew that he'd have to eat soon. Just the idea made him feel sick. Various punishments over the years involving food had gotten him to the point where he'd rather starve than eat. It was only because mommy demanded it that he would eat. His distaste for food didn't stop the lightheadedness or trembling though.

When he attempted a move that failed and sent him flying backwards, his ankle dislocated again and he couldn't help the barely suppressed growl of pain as he jerked his leg straight and used his hand to slam his ankle into place. "Stay," he muttered forcefully to it.

Naruto wasn't used to using his chakra, but he knew his seals very well and his concentration was excellent and Sasuke soon realized this enough to pull Naruto into his part of the fight. Naruto was a great support and when Sasuke managed to pull the bells into his hand and jump back he handed one of the bells to Naruto.

With the bell safely in his fist Naruto allowed himself to collapse painfully on the ground and wrap his hands around his ankle, biting his lip and breathing harshly.

Kakashi was at his side then and pulled his pant-leg up. His eye widened at the swollen, black mess. "When did this happen?" he asked absently as he bent down and ran his calloused fingers very lightly over bruised skin.

"I jammed it yesterday, but hurt it again today," Naruto lied easily, sweat appearing on his brow as Kakashi's hands worsened the pain.

Sakura let out a gasp behind him and Sasuke watched with interest. "You need to be healed," Kakashi said and picked the boy up. "Sasuke, Sakura, go ahead and train until I get back. If there aren't bruises when I return then you did it wrong."

Naruto was nervous as a medic tutted over his ankle. He'd never been healed before, but he _knew_ that mommy wouldn't like it. How had he managed to get caught like this? So quickly. Kakashi noted the tension in Naruto's shoulders. Was the treatment causing further pain? How inconvenient that one of his students had gotten this injured so early. He considered sending Naruto home after this healing, but his lesson to his students was incomplete and he wanted to know now whether he was going to pass or fail them. It would be stupid to waste more time.

Naruto gripped the silver bell tightly in his sweaty hand.

"_What_ happened to your ankle?" mommy asked quietly.

"I passed my instructor's test today. He's going to keep us on and continue to train us," Naruto said, hoping against reason that maybe mommy would be proud of him, pleased with him and not hurt him.

"Your ankle hurt too much for you to handle?" mommy said, "You complained enough that they sent you to get healed?"

"I didn't complain at all."

"It's time for you to eat," mommy said.

She was upset with him and so he got one of the sweet apples. This had happened many times before, this coating on the food that slid down his throat and left him sick for hours afterwords, some sort of painful mixture added to force his stomach to heave. She watched as he ate it unable to hide his expression of revulsion at each syrupy swallow.

"Now come lay down with me in bed," she said, turning on her heel to wait for him.

Naruto was old enough now to understand how abnormal this was, how inappropriate it was for him to sleep with his mother. But that's all it was, there was never anything more, anything that was…_too_ much. She liked to kiss him and would sometimes guide a hand to her breast, but it was never anything more than that and Naruto was able change his interpretation, to close his eyes and pretend that it was motherly affection.

Mommy and daddy hadn't slept together in years. Naruto didn't know what love was but if it was as cold as what mommy and daddy shared then he wouldn't try to expect anything more than this.

He followed mommy into her bedroom.

And when daddy got home that night he took Naruto to the cemetery. Sometimes he'd make Naruto sleep on her grave while he wept for his daughter.

"Naruto are you okay?"

He stirred slightly from his spot on the ground. They were waiting for Kakashi (who was once again late) and Naruto was curled up, trying to soothe the pain in his stomach. Mommy hated when he showed weakness and he knew better than to vomit in front of people.

"Yeah," he said, "I just ate something that made my stomach hurt."

"What?"

Sakura's head turned abruptly to Sasuke who seemed interested in something for the first time ever since she'd known him. Well, his tone implied that he was interested, his expression remained blank.

"Some fruit."

"Fruit made your stomach hurt?" Sakura asked confused.

"Yeah. I can be really stupid and I ate some really bad fruit."

"Did you _want_ to get a stomachache?" Sasuke asked with a hint of sneer.

Naruto didn't answer. _Quit asking questions_, he silently begged as his stomach tried to heave again.

Sakura attempted to make conversation, but Sasuke still wasn't interested and Naruto was working on not vomiting. He only hoped that it would feel better when Kakashi arrived.

* * *

Mommy was sick when he returned home that evening so he had a chance to study more scrolls for which he was grateful. She'd get sick fairly often, something that made her body shake as a bitter darkness twisted under her skin and gnawed at her insides. So she'd drink something strong until she became utterly numb and she couldn't feel anything anymore.

He felt like crying but he didn't know why. He'd learned to do that silently over the years, curled in on himself so that no one could see and no one would hear. But he was too old to do that now and he was living on stolen time. There was no reason for him to cry and he had no right to.

It was two in the morning when mommy stumbled into his room, sobbing and vomiting. "You're poisoning me, aren't you? You want to kill me like you did my daughter!"

He didn't say anything, mommy couldn't hear when she was like this. It was okay to scream and cry out during these beatings.

"You hurt me so much, so much, I hate you completely. I wish you were gone. I want my daughter back! You stole her from me and she's gone her body's rotted to dust and she's nothing. I'll never see her again. I hate you!"

He was yanked off of his bed first. Then she broke his wrist, twisting it until it popped.

"You hurt everyone around you, how can you hate us so much? How can you be so cruel?"

"I'm sorry!" he whispered, crying.

He was too old to cry. She slapped him hard, and a back tooth was loose.

"Mommy don't hit where people can see, _please_. They want to know, I don't know what to tell them."

Her eyes suddenly focused and she drifted down to reality again. "You think they _care_, Naruto? They want you to be like this. What is it that they think when they see you, what was it that the neighbors told you?"

Naruto tried to hold back his tears, he couldn't let mommy see, never let her see. "They hate me. They want me to burn. To burn and die."

"And that's what you owe them," she said then and took hold of his arm to drag him out of the room and into the kitchen.

There were matches in the drawer and she held up his arm, the soft skin about between his elbow and shoulder. The sudden flare of light, the acrid smell of sulfur.

"See how much it hurts? See what my baby went through? How could you do that Naruto?" she sobbed.

And then came the pain, the harsh blows against his arms, the bruises on his legs. The sting of metal against his shins.

It was done. Mommy held him.

"I love you so much. I love every bit of you. Stay with me until you die, Naruto. Don't leave me. Protect me. You promised that you'd protect me."

She rocked him back and forth, and then kissed his lips harshly.

"You'll stay with me, right? You love me, Naruto? I make you beautiful, I'll hold you tight."

He couldn't breathe.

* * *

It wasn't until Sakura and Kakashi both left that Sasuke spoke to Naruto.

"Who is it that hits you?"

"What?" Naruto asked sharply, jerking to a stop.

"Those bruises are ridiculous."

Naruto's smile was natural. He always forced them, so forced smiles were his natural smile. "I'm really clumsy."

"No you're not."

There was a moment of silence between them. Sasuke sighed. "I'm not going to tell anyone, I'm not going to fix your problems for you. If you like to be hurt or not, I don't really care."

"D-do you hate me then?" Naruto asked almost hesitantly.

Sasuke turned to look straight at him. "I don't care about you. Why would I?"

"…no one hits me. I'm really clumsy."

"Tell whoever it is not to break anymore bones. If you keep walking with a limp or using only one hand you're going to get caught quickly. Sakura's an idiot, but Kakashi isn't."

"No one hits me."

"I'd kill whoever it was. Not for you. But I wouldn't let them do that to me. I guess you and I both don't care about you."

"I love my family," Naruto whispered.

"They hate you."

"You can hate and love someone," Naruto whispered almost silently while staring at the ground.

Sasuke turned around to look at him again. "No you can't. You can imagine loving someone and you can remember loving someone. You can't love someone that you hate."

"What do you know?" Naruto said, his voice begging Sasuke to leave.

Sasuke stared at him, hesitating. "I'm going to kill my brother," he said.

His eyes suddenly widened and he swallowed as if he could take the words back.

"I hate him. It has nothing to do with love."

Naruto's hand went to his mouth and he bit anxiously on his nails. "Is that what it's like to have a brother? To need to kill them?"

His voice was near tears and suddenly Sasuke felt disgusted, this pathetic weakling that was in front of him, this idiot, this loser. He shouldn't have wasted his time here. He didn't need Naruto thinking that he cared.

He didn't.

* * *

This is the end of Chapter Four. Sasuke's always been something of a...complete and utter jerk, but there is character development.

What are your thoughts/opinions/questions/demands?

The nonexistent response I'm getting is really making me question _why_ I'm bothering to continue working working on this when nobody cares.

-Cheerful Regression


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks to my beta, Sam 3000 Bath

Warning: Disturbing and Upsetting Themes

Chapter dedication: To the amazing **Silver-Serval**, hopefully you don't mind miserable things.

* * *

Chapter 5

Quote:

"Hate leaves ugly scars; love leaves beautiful ones."

-Mignon McLaughlin

* * *

Whenever the pain got too great mommy would take Naruto with her to the medical clinic.

"There are more than usual this time, you shouldn't wait so long before coming in," the medic said as she ran her palms over the bloated space of mommy's sunken stomach.

Mommy merely nodded.

"Okay, let me hook in the catheter. This is going to feel uncomfortable for a moment."

Mommy held tightly to Naruto's hand and stared out the window. Her grip tightened slightly as the catheter was inserted and let out a breath.

The medic activated chakra around her hands and ran them over the bloated abdomen, rocking her fingers, making light impressions on the taut flesh. Mommy's breath trembled as the procedure continued for over twenty minutes.

Finally the medic drew back then, the chakra disappearing from her hands as she rubbed them together. "The tumors are liquefied, but the mass is much larger than usual, so the drainage is going to be worse as well."

"Just let me catch my breath," mommy gasped.

Naruto leaned forward and laid his cheek against her arm. She took another deep breath in and placed a hand on the softness of his hair. When she pulled her hand away Naruto stood back up. "It'll be okay," he said.

There was a round puncture scar on her abdomen, the entrance to the right of her hip bone. The medic pierced the flesh with a tubular scalpel, lined on the inside with plastic with a crevice along the entirety of the side. "Prepare for the pinch," the medic said.

Mommy squeezed her eyes shut as the medic drove the razor edge through her flesh until hitting the hard calcium of her pelvic bone and then twisted it around, sawing through the bone. Mommy clenched her teeth. The medic packed the space around the scalpel with white gauze and tape, then took hold of mommy's hands and carefully helped her stand.

"Here we go," the medic said, "we're right on down this hallway."

Naruto trailed behind them as the medic led mommy to the small white room with the plastic and metal chair. He watched as she was gently set and then her legs and torso were strapped into place. "Okay, why don't you hold onto your son's hand again?" the medic suggested.

Mommy's grip on Naruto's hand was loose and cold. The medic pulled the plastic lining out of the tube and a thick, bloody substance immediately filled it and ran down the metal, pouring into a container attached to the chair. Mommy wasn't able to completely stifle the scream through her clenched teeth.

"Shhh, shhh," the medic soothed, checking all of the attachments and then wiping the sweat off of mommy's thin cheeks. "Keep calm and keep still. You need to stay upright so that the draining remains smooth."

Mommy nodded. The medic handed the cloth to Naruto. "I'll come and check on you in thirty minutes."

"How long until it's done?" Naruto asked.

"Maybe about an hour and a half."

Mommy held his hand tightly and pulled him to her. He carefully wrapped his arms around her neck and let her cry into his shoulder.

When the medic returned she readjusted the tube and ran a chakra-coated hand over mommy's abdomen. "About twenty more minutes and it should all be gone. But it looks like I wasn't able to pulverize all of them, there were too many this time. So make sure that you come back sooner. The bloating and pain should still decrease though."

The medic left again and mommy pulled Naruto into her arms. "It's okay, mommy," he said, "It'll stop hurting soon."

"How can you stand pain?" she asked him softly as her face tightened, "What trick do you use?"

"…I just imagine it as a sensation that doesn't get any worse. It's just something unusual that happens to my body. It doesn't hurt, it's just a new sensation."

"But it does hurt. It never feels better…years and years and years. For so much time…"

"It doesn't get easier? You don't heal?"

"Your body heals, but mine doesn't. It won't. It breaks. It gets worse all the time, I'm rotting in my flesh and I can't stand the pain."

"I'd take it for you if I could."

Mommy hugged him gently, "You're such a sweet child, such a good son."

* * *

"What's the problem?"

Naruto shifted uncomfortably under Sakura's irritated and confused stare. "He won't fight me," Sakura said.

"What do you mean, you've been sparring for twenty minutes," Kakashi said, eye glancing over from his little orange book.

"Yeah and look," Sakura demanded, holding out her arms and presenting her legs, "Not a bruise or a scratch. You told us that if there aren't injuries then we're doing it wrong. He just keeps evading!"

Kakashi looked at the condition of the two in consideration. He sat up. "Why aren't you fighting her?"

"I-" quick images flashed through him mind, mommy's pain-filled grimace and a weathered gravestone with the word _-Masako_ on it, "-can't fight Sakura."

"If you can fight Sasuke you can fight Sakura," Kakashi said. Sakura seemed to waver and then decided to take insult at his words.

"She's a girl," Naruto tried to explain.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "That better not be the reason why you're not fighting her. You can't be a ninja if you won't fight females."

Naruto felt small. "I _can't_ fight females," he said quietly but forcefully.

"That will make you a liability on missions," Kakashi stated.

Naruto pressed his hands against his head. "I don't want to hurt her," he mumbled.

"She's a ninja, pain is an intrinsic detail."

"I don't need your protection!" Sakura stated hotly to him.

Sasuke had stilled his motions in his chakra training, but he didn't turn. He and Naruto hadn't looked at each other since that meeting when they both confessed too much.

_He's so weak._

Kakashi had been growing to like his team. They were odd children, the three of them, but he felt affection for their oddness. However, his first and foremost loyalties were for the safety of his team and his missions for Konoha. A cell that had a member that it was counting on, one that was supposed to be an active member, that had such an easy manipulation to make them give up fighting...that was dangerous. Kakashi had had experience with the consequences of a split cell, of unable ninja unwilling to help each other. Experience that haunted him still. Sure he could most likely get them out of trouble now, but it _was _dangerous.

Kakashi paused for a moment before sighing. "That's not going to work. We have to be able count on you, Naruto, and all the training in the world isn't going to let you choose the people that attack you and teammates. We're not going to take on missions until you fight. And if it takes long enough then we will be forced to disband."

Sakura froze. Then she pointed furiously at Naruto, "You're going to ruin our chances of becoming chuunin!" she snarled, "And you think that I'm too weak to fight you! I hate you!"

Naruto hunched down on the ground and clutched his head in his hands. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he murmured.

* * *

"Why won't he fight girls?" Chouji asked.

"I don't know," Sakura replied frustrated.

Ino tilted her head to glance at her. "Is it because he _likes_ you?" she asked.

"It better not be," Sakura grumbled.

"He does like you though, right?" Ino persisted.

"Yeah. But I don't like him."

Chouji nodded. "He's a weird guy."

Shikamaru looked over from where he had been staring out the window. He hated it when Sakura joined their group for meals. As much as she and Ino claimed to be friends, they argued and taunted each other like enemies. Or else gossiped about the most pointless things he had ever heard.

"You should try and fight him Ino."

"What?" she said.

Shikamaru shifted. "If he's just doing it because he likes Sakura then fighting you will prove that he can fight other ninjas, just not Sakura. It wouldn't stop him from attacking enemies."

"I don't want to fight Naruto," Ino said, wrinkling her forehead.

Sakura glared, "It would help out my team."

"You could use the practice," Chouji commented as he ate another bite of steak.

"You could use a diet!" Ino returned instantly.

"Don't act like an idiot," Shikamaru said. "Just go fight Naruto."

* * *

"Hey!"

Naruto looked up when he heard the voice and was startled to see Sakura, Ino, Chouji, and Shikamaru. He felt a spark of interest when he saw them, before he noticed their expressions and remembered that he'd never have friends.

"What?" he said.

Sakura shoved Ino at him. Shikamaru sat on the edge of a large cement flower pot, looking unhappy to be there. Chouji stood nearby eating chips. Ino smiled at Naruto, her eyes challenging, "I'm going to fight you!"

"What?" he repeated, surprised.

His heart beat a little faster as he looked at them. He needed to get home, mommy was waiting for him and he couldn't disappoint her. "I can't-"

"Don't start that crap!" Sakura said, "Just fight Ino so you can prove that you can."

"I need to go-" he tried again.

"No running away," Ino smiled, that glint still in her eyes, "You have to fight me now."

They were near the academy still and some students were slowly gathering around to watch. Naruto ignored them and clutched his bag tighter. "I need-"

He was cut off when Ino leaped at him with her fist raised. His eyes widened and he dropped his bag and jumped backwards. The wall was behind him too quickly and it hit hard against his back. He scraped to the side and jumped back as she lunged towards him again.

"Stop evading!" Sakura shouted, "Just punch her!"

"Shut up!" Ino shouted back.

There was murmuring from the crowd that were starting to form a circle. "What's wrong with him, why isn't he fighting back?"

Ino made a seal and Naruto went stiff as her spirit entered his body and he was pushed back into the shadows of his mind. They watched together as Ino's body dropped to the ground and then together they turned towards Sakura. "See, this is easy," Ino said with Naruto's voice as they walked towards Sakura, "Sakura hold still."

Sakura made a face at them, but she squared her shoulders and stayed there to take the punch. Naruto couldn't scream.

"This isn't a good idea," Shikamaru said, his voice tense and uneasy.

Ino swung Naruto's fist and it connected solidly with Sakura's face as she reeled backwards and her expression contorted. "Ow!" she exclaimed, "Not so hard!"

"Sorry," Naruto's voice said, "He's a _lot _stronger than I'm used to. That was supposed to be light."

"Does that feel better, Naruto?" Chouji asked, "It feels good to hit annoying people, doesn't it."

Sakura turned to glare at him and Ino used the opportunity to kick her solidly in the stomach. Sakura gasped and turned back sharply, "Don't _actually_ hurt me," she said.

"He needs to get used to what it feels like to _beat_ someone up," Naruto's voice explained, "Don't be so whiny, I won't leave any damage. I just need to get used to his body."

Sakura's next words were interrupted as Naruto grabbed her arm and shoulder and slammed her into the ground. Ino grinned, it took so little effort with Naruto's much stronger body. "Qui-" Sakura began to say, but she was cut off again as Ino kicked her.

"Ino!" Shikamaru said sharply and Naruto's eyes flicked to him suddenly, eyes growing a bit bigger.

"He's fighting me!" she tried to explain, "What's the point of this if he's still going to refuse when it's finished. Let's just do this once! Fight back, Sakura!"

Sakura grabbed Naruto's ankle and yanked hard, sending him crashing to the ground. She crawled quickly up his body and punched him hard in the gut and then again in the face, a bruise forming on his cheekbone.

"Wait," Chouji said a bit worriedly, "Don't hurt his body."

Naruto rolled them over and instantly slammed his fist into Sakura's face and his expression changed as Ino realized just how much force she had used. There was a resounding crack as Sakura's nose was broken. Blood spurt from her nose and her mouth where one tooth fell out and another snapped in half and Ino shrieked.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" she cried, "I wasn't hitting that hard, just a little force is all…"

Sakura coughed on the blood draining down her throat as she tried to scream and Naruto's hands attempted to gently wipe the blood from her face. Shikamaru appeared at her side and tilted her upwards so that the blood would flow out of her nose and mouth instead of down her throat. She could hear Chouji shouting in the background at some of the now-silent crowd, "Get a medic!"

"I'm sorry," Ino begged.

This was different than training. In training it was even, both sides thought they were playing equally. Sakura had been playing, Ino had been fighting. Naruto was so much stronger than she was, she hadn't intended to break her friend's delicate nose.

Ino pulled out of Naruto's body abruptly, opening the eyes of her own idle form and she stood up and raced over to Sakura. The medics would be able to fix it, it would be fine. Ninjas broke bones all the time. No lasting damage. It would be fine.

Everyone jumped as Naruto screamed. Ino turned to look at him as his eyes blazed in terror and he screamed in horror and choked on a sob that tried to make its way out of his throat. He could feel the warmth of Sakura's blood on his palms and remembered the feeling of her cartilage and teeth cracking under his fist.

_Masako_.

He cried as though he was a faucet that someone forgot to turn off and Sakura's blood stained his hair red as he gripped it tightly while staring.

"Naruto," Shikamaru said, standing and moving slightly towards him.

"I told you!" Naruto cried, "I told you that I couldn't fight her! Why'd you make me fight?"

Ino started sobbing. A medic took hold of Sakura's face though he looked up with concern at the way the others were reacting. "It's going to be fine," he said, "We've treated much, much worse. She'll be out of the hospital within an hour, stop panicking."

Naruto's screaming continued even after they'd disappeared from sight and didn't stop until Kakashi appeared and took his chin in his hand and said something that no one else could hear. Naruto's screams broke into pure cries and Kakashi helped him to his feet and they walked away.

* * *

"What happened to your student?"

Kakashi glanced up at Asuma and then back at his book. "Your team told you what happened to him. They're the ones responsible."

"It was a regular fight that turned into a panic-session. All three of them are really upset. Surely your student isn't doing too well either."

Kakashi stretched his shoulders and sat up more. "He's not."

"What happened?" Asuma prompted.

"I suspended any missions until he would fight. He won't fight females and you know how dangerous that kind of weakness is in battles. It won't work. Apparently Sakura went to your team for help."

"Hm. I would have expected Sasuke to be the one to act."

Kakashi didn't say anything to that. The chemistry between Naruto and Sasuke had been odd lately, cautiously and carefully avoidant.

Asuma sighed. "Is the kid okay?"

Kakashi merely shrugged.

"My team is upset," Asuma said.

"He said that he'll fight Sakura. He doesn't want that to happen again. He's terrified," his eye slid up to look at Asuma, "Are you going to reword that in order comfort your team?"

Asuma took the cigarette out of his mouth and then breathed out in a rush of smoke. "You're an ass, Kakashi."

Kakashi shrugged again as his mind moved back to the frightened, trembling boy that had cried for over an hour with his face pressed to his knees, rocking back and forth. He'd reacted as though he'd killed someone, and it made Kakashi wary of when the boy would actually end up killing someone on a mission. Ninjas needed to be more stable than that.

He'd contacted the medic that treated Sakura. It had taken less than ten minutes of treatment and the damage was completely erased. Still, Kakashi knew that that was her first major injury. She was no prodigy, she hadn't been trained early and her parents were civilians that had never practiced with her. The first _real_ injury, the first time someone hit without restraint, the first major, altering damage, was a shock. It hurt on a different level than all injuries afterwords, even if later injuries were more intense.

It was startling that Sasuke, his least steady pupil, was suddenly the most stable out of his group.

* * *

Mommy was different again. Every so often her mind would separate from her body and she was a free-floating entity while the evil that gnawed at her womb spread and spread until it's all that she was. It was such a relief to see everything from such distance and to let the air support her while the world moved on without her. Everyone became such a small point of focus, a beautiful dot white with energy, her universe a series of suspended lines and flutters until she saw herself and her baby.

Her beautiful, beautiful Masako. Her thirteen-year-old infant that buried her head in her breast and tried to feed until her body got warmer and warmer and it blistered mommy's hands to hold onto her and then their flesh was falling off of them as the world bubbled and cracked.

It was beautiful.

Her baby would scream, would sing, would cry or laugh.

The nine-tailed beast appeared, eyes as red as boiling blood and it ripped into mommy's womb with its teeth and disappeared inside. An evil eating her from the inside.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, Naruto?"

The fox curled up within her, stealing the breath from her lungs.

"I- My instructor is looking for missions for us. Outside of Konoha now. And we don't get a lot of notice."

"Why would I care, Naruto?"

When she breathed out there was smoke and flame, the fox's exhalation through her nose and mouth. Her world was crystallized ice. Her world was smothering heat.

"I thought…you might."

"You wanna know why you can take pain so well?"

The fox stretched inside of her, heating blood, raging. The heat melted the ice, gravity pulled her down, the red in her eyes muted by his blue.

_No. I don't want to come back. I don't want to see him or be here. I want to go back, to float away. Please just let me float away._

Naruto's eyes were tired, wary. Mommy lived in a light wonder at how much she hated him.

"Do you want to know why you can take pain so well?"

"Mommy, please…"

"Please what? Please tell you?"

Her voice was cruel in its coldness

His voice dropped to a whisper.

"Yes. Please tell me."

"It's because you heal, Naruto. No matter what we do to you, you always heal. Things will always get better for you, won't it? You can hold through with the pain because you'll either get better or you'll die. I don't have that. This is my beginning and end and it'll get worse and worse until I no longer exist."

She grabbed his chin suddenly and kissed him hard before drawing back and slapping him. "The only damage you can keep is mental. I'd say what we do to your soul, but you don't have one. Just a demon inside of this disgusting form."

She took his hand in hers, loathing how much warmer it was. "Naruto," she sighed, her voice a caress, "bring me the scissors."

With the scissors in her grasp she took hold of his right hand and opened the symmetrical blades. "It'll heal," she said.

* * *

Thank you everyone for reading!

I had a reviewer mention to me that I should capitalize the 'mommy' and 'daddy' as they _are_ technically proper nouns. I made a note of it in Chapter 2 that I'm keeping them lower-case because I want them to represent generalness and _not_ specific people, as they aren't the only ones to harm Naruto. However, this reviewer has a completely valid point and I'm reconsidering my initial decision. I'm doing it for representation and style, but I very much don't want to inhibit understanding through mechanics.

I'm undecided, what do you think? Of everything?


	6. Chapter 6

For those who read the manga (or watch the anime, I guess. I've never seen the anime), it's been a looong time since the beginning, so I'll make a quick note, just in case. Tazuna makes an appearance here. Tazuna is the old man that they escort on their first mission away. He's the builder of the bridge. Just a quick reminder.

I also want to make a note. I have finals coming up next week, so there is some serious crunch time. I'll do my best to update next Friday/Saturday, but if by chance, I _don't_ update, it will be because of studying (and exhaustion) from finals. Which means that the update will come the week after.

I'm going to use the time after posting this to give review replies. Anonymous reviews will be answered at the bottom (in subsequent chapters).

Update on the replies: I got through some of them, but I've got a bit of a situation and won't be around my computer. So I will get the rest out soon!

Thank you all so much for the feedback, I really appreciate it.

* * *

Quote:

"In time we hate that which we often fear."

"It will have blood, they say; blood will have blood."

-Shakespeare

* * *

* * *

Chapter Six

"What happened to your hands?"

The three of them had come together to the bridge to begin their three-hour waiting session for Kakashi. Sasuke sat to the side, leaning against one of the posts while Sakura stood with her elbows resting against the railing, though she stood up straight when she saw Naruto.

"I burned them trying a new jutsu," he said easily as he moved his heavily bandaged fingers and palms.

"You idiot!" she scolded, "Go to a medic and get them healed. And don't try new jutsus that you can't control, you'll really hurt yourself that way!"

Her tone wasn't harsh, it was a concerned scolded and he closed his eyes for a moment in inwardly shaky relief that she still didn't blame him for the injury. She hadn't brought it up during the entirety of the last two weeks.

Sasuke ignored the exchange, as he went over a folder of papers in his hands. Finally he straightened them and closed the folder around them.

"You're finished?" Sakura asked.

Sasuke's answer was a quick jerk of his shoulder. She picked up the folder and turned to Naruto. "Here, these are the our monthly write-ups. Read it over and sign it."

Naruto looked at the papers Sakura was offering. "We've never had to do this before," he said.

"We weren't doing steady missions before," she said, "Just go ahead and read it over and sign it. We get paid for the missions, but they need to keep up files on how much they're paying us versus how useful we are. It's just a compilation of mission reports and the distribution of money."

"You've already read it, right? So, you know that it's correct and I'll just go ahead and sign it."

"No," Sakura said, shaking the papers at him, "We've each got our separate parts too."

"Oh, okay," Naruto said, slowly pulling the papers in front of him and focusing down on them.

They sat in silence again, as Naruto ran his fingers slowly over the lines of text. Sakura sat at the edge of the bridge, swinging her feet idly watching the water. Sasuke watched Naruto.

"You can't read," he stated suddenly.

Sakura swiveled around to look at him, and then over to look at Naruto. Naruto's expression went from surprised to indignant. "I can read! I'm just not a fast reader."

"You've been reading over what I've been paid for the last twenty-five minutes," Sasuke said.

Naruto reddened, but he remained indignant. "I'm trying to make sure everything is right."

"What conclusion did you come to?"

Naruto was silent for a moment. "It…looks right," he said.

"That's interesting," Sasuke commented, "Since that page is Kakashi's list of missions that we completed."

No one moved for almost a full minute before Sakura moved to her knees and then stood up and walked over to Naruto to peer over his shoulder at the page that remained frozen in his hands. "You can't read?" she asked incredulously.

He didn't answer, but he felt perilously close to tears. Which made him angry at himself. Why did they have to find out? He didn't want them to think so much less of him. Even if they already wanted him to die.

Daddy had disparaged him before for his stupidity, his inability to learn how to read.

"I can read a little," he finally said, "It just…it just takes me a long time."

"But how did you never _learn_?" Sakura asked, the confusion still evident in her voice.

Naruto didn't answer, he just continued to look down at the letters in front of him.

Sasuke watched the tenseness in his shoulders, the way he curled in on himself to make himself smaller.

_Idiot_.

"Read it to him," he said.

Sakura looked up and blinked. "What?"

Sasuke hated that he'd involved himself. But he had. "Read it out loud to him. Before Kakashi gets here."

Sakura nodded. She took the papers away from Naruto and flipped through them until she got to the part pertaining to him. Then she thrust the papers back into his hands and raised a finger to trace along the words as she read them out-loud. Naruto tried to follow along, but then gave up helplessly; it was too fast for him to follow.

_I'm so stupid_.

* * *

* * *

xXxXxXx

Naruto's hands were almost healed, though he was steadfastly ignoring the painful cuts on the back of his shoulder from the glass that had been smashed against and then pressed deeply into his skin. He was practicing chakra control again at the training grounds. His ability to access chakra and maintain it was extremely poor in comparison to his two teammates and he didn't want to be that dangerously weak link that Kakashi had talked about.

His concentration was violently interrupted when he felt someone activate their chakra in front of him. His eyes flew open and he leaned backward and blinked at Sasuke. Sasuke wasn't more than six feet away and Naruto shook his head at the fact that he hadn't noticed him approach.

"What's wrong with you?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto stood up and stepped back. "I'm fine."

There was a long silence and Sasuke had the oddest expression on his face. "Why don't you fight back?"

"You've said before that you don't care. Leave me alone."

"I don't care."

"Then please…just leave. Go away."

"You're disgusting."

Naruto stared at him. He didn't want to hear these words. Not anymore, not from anyone else.

_Should I just disappear?_

"What do you want?" he asked, "I don't know what you want me to do. Or what anyone wants me to do."

"Shut up!" Sasuke said, staring at him. "Why would I want anything from you? What could you do for me? Or for anyone? Quit being so pathetic. Why don't you fight back for once?"

"I'll fight you."

"I don't want to fight you," Sasuke said, "You show up every day with new injuries and you give up so easily. There's no reason for me to fight you. You're nothing."

Naruto looked at him for a long moment and then he turned to leave but stopped. He had nowhere to go. Mommy had gotten sick-

_There was blood in her vomit and some of it splattered against the hard wooden floor, returning to stain the taut skin around her lips. Her fingers dug against the floor until her nails cracked and her thin hair hung around her face._

"_Should I go get a medic, mommy? Do you need me to take you there?" Naruto asked as he tried to uncurl her fingers and gently wipe away some of the blood._

"_The house," she moaned, her voice thick on the edge of another hard heave, "it's a mess, it's such a mess."_

"_We can clean it later. I'll take you to the hospital now and I'll clean it when I come back."_

_Mommy reached for him with a startlingly hard grip on the back of his neck leaving flecks of her own blood and she slammed him forward so that his cheek and the top half of his shirt were soaked in the bloody bile._

"_Who can live like this?!" she shrieked at him, taking hold of his hair to keep him firmly in place. "Who fucking lives like this?!"_

_He had the strength, he knew that he was stronger than she was, but he couldn't do anything against the mommy that loved him. "What do you want me to do?"_

_She didn't have the strength to stand, but she grabbed a handful of his hair to drag him over to where she had been sitting and she took the wineglass and screamed at him as she slammed the delicate crystal top against his shoulder. He made a sound as the top broke off and the jagged crystal stem punctured his skin and immediately turned red with the blood flowing into the hallow cavity. _

_She pulled the stem out and slammed it back in again, before sobbing hysterically and picking up the bowl of the glass and pressed it harshly against his skin until it broke into reflective shards and their skin was a masterpiece of dripping, scarlet violence. She ran her hand continuously over the area, pressing the glass deeper into the muscle of his shoulder blade as well as the palm of her hand._

"_Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful," she murmured as she painted and let the remaining slivers fall to the floor. "Poor, poor Naruto. Get out of the house. Don't let daddy see you. Don't come back tonight."_

-so he had come to the training grounds to pull the glass shards out of his shoulder blade, clean up, and wait until he knew that mommy was passed out to return. Daddy was upset if Naruto wasn't in his bed at night.

Naruto jumped as Sasuke suddenly pulled at the collar of his shirt and wrenched it to the edge of his shoulder, exposing the new wounds. Sasuke had a hand at the back of Naruto's neck in order pull the shirt farther away and see the entirety of the wounded area.

Naruto squeezed his eyes shut as Sasuke took his hand off of the back of Naruto's neck and suddenly yanked a large piece of glass that Naruto had missed. There were three more sharp sensations as Sasuke roughly pulled out additional glass shards. There was a small pause of Sasuke's hand resting lightly on his skin and then Sasuke let go of the shirt and shoved Naruto forward.

"You're pathetic!" he said angrily, leaving Naruto to grasp his throbbing shoulder.

Naruto stood there almost motionless as it slowly got darker and darker. Until he could return home.

* * *

* * *

xXxXxXx

"You don't know the letters either?" Sakura said in disbelief.

"I just don't want to do this," Naruto said, trying to push the papers away from him.

It was embarrassing that Sakura had brought a few papers she'd prepared with simple words on it. She thought that he was some stupid kid. Sasuke was sitting several feet away and he and Naruto absolutely refused to look at each other.

"How many letters _do_ you know?" Sakura asked. "You can't learn to read unless you know your letters."

"Just leave it alone," he said, "I've made it this far without needing it, I'll be fine for the rest."

There was the slightest reaction from Sasuke, but Naruto wasn't looking at him and Sakura was busy staring at Naruto.

"_How_ did you make it through the academy?" she asked, "Didn't…Is that why you failed all the tests?"

The truth was that he rarely paid attention. It was incredibly hard to pay attention when the instructors kept pointing at meaningless symbols on the board. And he hadn't been as adapted to sleepless nights by then, so he'd often slept through his classes.

"No," he said, "I'm just not smart enough to learn."

Sakura looked taken back by his delivery. There was no self-pitying or self-deprecation. It was a purely self-contained statement. "You can learn. I'll teach you."

* * *

* * *

xXxXxXx

Their lessons were painful. Sakura wasn't a very good teacher and Naruto already knew that he couldn't learn so their interaction became Sakura repeatedly attempting to come up with good explanations or tricks and Naruto humoring her.

Sasuke inwardly tallied every time that Naruto came in with an injury. And then he'd help Naruto hide them. Not through caring for them or anything, however. He'd get into violent fights with Naruto and would fight until he managed to get a hit where the injury was and give Naruto an obvious excuse to have a limp or favor one arm above the other.

But they both knew that it gave Sasuke some sort of satisfaction to cause that further pain, just as Naruto would accept the injuries without hesitation.

It was a sick relationship.

There was something…infuriating about Naruto. Sasuke didn't want to examine it too closely, he hid away from the brutal introspection that would make him face that _chasm_ of raw pain stretching endlessly before him. But he knew that it had something to do with how easily Naruto gave up and how little everyone cared. He had always believed that he'd been relying on himself from such a young age because he'd pushed away those that wanted to help him.

Had anyone wanted to help him? Or was he like Naruto? Were they two kids that everyone wished learned to cope because no one else wanted to take care of such pathetic messes.

God, and how could Naruto just _give up_?

There was a reflection that Sasuke saw every time that he looked at Naruto, a reflection so hideous that he could barely stand to be near. A useless person, a manipulated toy that was willing to do what everyone wanted.

Sasuke closed his eyes. _I'll never be able to do it. I'll never be happy and I'll never-_

He angrily snapped forward and his face twisted into an ugly sneer.

_When did I become so _weak_?_

And he had no idea how they had become entangled, all he knew was that they were.

* * *

xXxXxXx

"Eat," Sakura said.

Naruto shifted at their resting spot on their first away mission, escorting Tazuna to his bridge. They always had sufficient rations when traveling and everyone else was consuming their rations, while Naruto sat there without them.

"I'm not hungry," he said, "I'm gonna wait until I am."

"How can you not be hungry?" Tazuna asked, "After all of this work today and all of this traveling? Eat, boy."

"I will in a while."

Kakashi caught the sudden extreme avoidance between Naruto and Sasuke. Ah, there was something more here.

"You should be hungry now, you should eat now, or else you'll end up feeling dizzy later," Kakashi said simply.

Naruto smiled lightly. "I'm too excited to be out of Konoha. If I eat now I'll barf."

"Gross," Sakura commented.

Mommy had been _furious_ that he was leaving Konoha. He'd tried to remind her that he'd told her this was going to happen. When he'd begged her not to do anything that could be seen and she agreed, she decided instead to feed him, this obedient child that would willingly take his poison. He'd spent the entire night before vomiting constantly and violently. Until he'd passed out on the blood pouring out of his throat.

It was hard to concentrate.

And it was true that he would end up vomiting if he tried to eat. He must have looked a bit green because everyone let the matter drop.

Sleeping was surreal. He couldn't remember sleeping away from his mommy and daddy. The air felt different, it felt warmer and noisier. He climbed into his sleeping bag which was on the other side of Tazuna, who was asleep and snoring loudly within twenty minutes. Sakura would have loved to sleep next to Sasuke, so Kakashi had enforced the student protocol of females and males sleeping apart. Kakashi took the first watch which further promoted the idea that the man stayed lazy because he didn't sleep. It was a type of conservation.

Naruto couldn't sleep. He kept waiting for someone to visit him, for some sort of nightly punishment. But there wasn't any.

He intrinsically understood that he shouldn't let anyone know that he was awake. Sasuke knew about what was going on, but he wasn't going to say anything, he wasn't going to make Naruto's life harder than it already was. Naruto didn't think that he'd be able to stand it if everything…changed.

"_I need you Naruto. Without you I will die. Please protect me. Take care of me. I love you."_

He wanted to grip his head to try and stop the painful headache.

* * *

* * *

xXxXxXxXx

"_Eat_," Sakura commanded.

Naruto's head hurt and his spine ached from holding himself so stiffly for so many hours. He wanted to beg them to leave him alone, but nothing attracted attention like asking to be left alone.

"I'm still not feeling well."

"We've walked _miles_," Sakura said, "You're going to get all weak and stringy."

Kakashi read his book with apparent disinterest. "I'd rather not stop since we have people chasing us," Kakashi said, ignoring the sudden discomfort of Tazuna they were escorting, "but if you're sick then we can."

"No, that's okay. I- I have a stupid stomach, it just…" Naruto gave a laugh and gestured pointlessly.

None of the other three joined in his laughter and it ended awkwardly. "Are you on a diet?" Sakura said, "Like stupid Ino-pig?"

Sakura's eyes darted quickly to Sasuke to mark his non-existent reaction to Ino's name with great satisfaction and relief.

Naruto scratched his head tiredly. It was never a good idea to change stories, things got too confusing and it was too easy to get caught. "No. I just have one of those stomachs, but I never stop eating. Got some bad habits."

"Hm," Kakashi said mildly, "So, you've got a 'stupid stomach,' 'bad habits,' and are too 'stupid' to learn to read. Any other things that you want to attribute to that, or is there a little more to what's going on?"

And just like that Kakashi let them know that he had been watching. Naruto wished he could be anywhere. Why had he come on this mission? He should have been at home, helping mommy. Mommy needed him so badly and he was ruining everything.

_Quit fucking up!_

But he couldn't think. He hated Kakashi's ability to do this, to manipulate them like this, sweet-talk and cut, and make them squirm as he examined it all.

"The idiot graduated the last in his class," Sasuke said off-handedly, "He slept through all of the lessons and skipped all the time."

"That'll do it," Tazuna suddenly spoke up. "If you don't pay attention you'll never learn. The boy probably _does_ have a bad stomach, or appetite, or whatever. Look at how little he is! How old are you kid?"

"Twelve," Naruto answered, his face pale with relief.

"He's only a little taller than my grandson. A bad diet will do it to you."

Kakashi's expression remained impassive, Sasuke didn't say anything, but Sakura looked somewhat reassured. "Don't worry," she said, "I'll still teach you how to read."

Naruto couldn't help clutching his head as the images of all of the days ahead of him panned in front of him and he couldn't bear the pure banality and unchanging harshness of it. Unbidden, the list of names started forming and he wanted to shut his eyes so tightly as his lips twitched slightly to recognize the syllables-

_Komatsu Aiko, Harakaki Noriko-_

_Oh god-

* * *

_

* * *

xXxXxXx

That's the end of Chapter 6. I had my beta Sam 3000 Bath, read through this, but we were both in a bit of a hurry, so if you see an error, don't hesitate to mention it and I'll fix it as soon as possible.

Oh and look for a major character introduction in the next chapter!

Thank you all very much for the feedback, I very much appreciate all of it.

See you in a week (or two).

-Cheerful Regression


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Notes:

Most importantly here, I guess, is that this is basically the beginning of my major diversion from the original storyline. Some of it is changing out of sight (such as Kakashi's condition when they arrived at Tazuna's home), while there are going to be some blatant, extremely obvious differences. I hope that it all makes sense, but I just wanted to give you all a head's up.

I'm a bit nervous about this chapter. It was most definitely the hardest to write (which figures because this is the week before finals, which I should _not_ have been spending the last several days in intense revision), and I still almost didn't post it, but my beta convinced me to, anyway.

Thank you everyone for the reviews, favorites, and alerts! I appreciate it so much!

The quote this time is from Kaiza, who is Inara's (Tazuna's grandson) father. I thought that it was fascinating because of how differently everyone on the team would interpret it.

And, I've never _explicitly_ stated this before, but I've never seen the anime, so everything that I'm referencing comes from the manga.

Thanks again to my beta: **The Laughing Fool**

Chapter dedication: **Silver Serval**

* * *

Quote:

"If something is truly important to you... even if it's heart-breaking, even if it's sorrowful... you keep on trying and trying, even if you lose your life, you keep on protecting it with these two arms! Then, even if you die, you leave behind the proof that you are a man... forever..."

-Kaiza

* * *

They were given sleeping arrangements within the house itself. Sakura was given the tiny guest room, while Kakashi, Naruto, and Sasuke had bedrolls that they would use in the living room at night and stow during the day. Not that they all slept at the same time, someone was always awake, keeping watch.

It was usually Kakashi. They'd keep the hours fair amongst the other three, but he was the one most used to taking these nighttime shifts and, quite honestly, he was still the best at noticing and sensing the presence of others. Besides, he wanted his team to be _training_ during the day. And they'd train until exhaustion so it wasn't a good idea to count on them being awake enough at night.

Sakura could not understand how he was able to get by with so very little sleep. Until she realized that he spent a good portion of the day lightly dozing behind that orange book of his.

She very much mourned the fact that she couldn't sleep in the same room as Sasuke and she was a bit resentful of Kakashi, because he was the one who had made that decision. It ruined her opportunity to...she wasn't quite sure what, actually. All she knew was that her heart beat faster as she imagined Sasuke and herself both sleeping next to each other.

Or even across the room from each other. That was fine as well.

It was strange though, just how much _time_ they all had together. Sure, they'd met almost every day in Konoha, but during that time they spent all but the initial three hours in intense training and then they went home.

But here it was different. They would train for several hours, but then... There was all of this _time_. It was especially noticeable after dinner when they were able to just roam around for hours before going to sleep.

After the first few restless days they settled down into a pattern. Sasuke would just read whatever was in the house, or else just sit in silent contemplation. Sakura commandeered a completely reluctant but perfectly compliant Naruto into the living room or the porch for another session of reading lessons.

"The 'c' makes a _kuh_ sound, like cup," Sakura said as she repeatedly circled the letter, "Or it can make a _kah _sound, like cackle... But, um, it also kinda depends on what letter comes after that. If it's a 'ch' it will be a _cha_ or a _chi_. Like champion or chip. Oh, but...there's also a _suh_ sound, like cinnamon."

Naruto let out a silent sigh. There were so many different sounds and it seemed like there were just thousands of letters and combinations. Most of them sounded so similar. Everyone else was able to figure it out, but he just _couldn't_.

"Here, write the 'c,'" Sakura said, handing him the pencil.

He made the simple half-moon shape and handed the pencil back to Sakura, who hesitated, erased it, and drew another model, one that wasn't so far on its side. That was one of the worst parts, knowing that she felt bad about correcting his mistakes. When they were practicing their ninja moves, she never hesitated in telling him that he was doing something wrong, or taking advantage of any opening he'd mistakenly leave.

It was because she considered him something of an equal in combat. But she thought that he would be embarrassed about the reading or writing. Which meant that she thought he was failing and she felt embarrassed _for_ him.

It certainly didn't help that Inara would occasionally sit and watch their lessons. Naruto was completely aware that Inara had small books that he could read and that Sasuke was often nearby, reading everything indiscriminately or else watching with an empty expression.

_Everything was fine before. I've gotten this far without knowing these things. Please just leave it alone._

It was so different while he was away and he was beginning to truly realize it.

Sure, he sustained injuries in battles, but they were so insignificant when he compared them in his head and he had always healed so quickly. Because-

He decided to not think any further on that.

But he was slowly getting used to sleeping uninterrupted and it sometimes made him sick because he _knew_ that when he went home, it was just going to be...all of the anxiousness and feeling so...so _terrible_ all the time. He dreamed of hands forcing him away and burning him alive.

He was starting to notice that Sasuke never seemed to sleep either.

* * *

The room was dark and an uncovered window painted the room with a bluish hue. It was quite early, three a.m. at the latest and there was the sound of only one other person breathing.

_Mommy? Or Daddy?_

The person was sitting beside where Naruto lay on his stomach and leaning over him. He tensed when he felt the hand lay on the back of his shirt and the warmth seep through the cloth. The touch was so light, though not necessarily gentle. It was delicate almost, as the other hand touched his shoulder to hold him in place while the fingers slid across the back of his shirt and then to his bare arm.

The texture wasn't right to be either of his parents. They didn't have calloused fingers or palms.

Sasuke, he suddenly realized.

Sasuke ran his hands along Naruto's bare skin, feeling carefully and noting every bone. He changed positions in order to better reach Naruto's other arm, completely uncaring that Naruto was awake. Naruto let the examination continue, for that's what it was, an examination. Sasuke was feeling for everything, for every injury, cut, and broken bone.

Sasuke's chest was almost flush with his back and the heat was uncomfortable. He didn't like being touched and most people weren't willing to touch him. Mommy was the only exception and her skin was always so cold.

"There's nothing," Sasuke whispered in confusion.

He pulled Naruto's shirt up and Naruto tiredly closed his eyes as Sasuke carefully felt his back, his spine, his shoulder blades, his sides. "How can there be nothing?" Sasuke murmured, "I've _seen_ you with those injuries. I pulled the glass out of..." his hand slid upwards and searched his shoulder, "how can there not be a scar?"

Naruto pulled away, something he was unused to. He had never fought these kind of things before, but he couldn't bear to let this continue. "Get away!" he hissed, "What are you even looking for?"

Sasuke seemed completely unperturbed by Naruto's reaction and he took hold of Naruto's hand, a strong grip meant to trap, and touched the bony wrist, silently measuring.

"They starve you."

"I hate eating."

Sasuke was suddenly on his knees right in front of him and he reached beneath Naruto's shirt to feel the ribs beneath stretched skin. "Did they make you this sick or did you do this on your own?" he asked.

Sasuke yanked down one of the white cloth guards on his arm and pressed Naruto's hand to it. Naruto's breath paused at the feel of the thick scars under his fingers. "How is it that you heal?" Sasuke asked. "I don't want these. Help me heal this and I'll help you heal yours."

"Heal my what?" Naruto whispered in the darkness.

"I'll help you kill your parents."

Naruto yanked his arm back so suddenly that it drew Sasuke forward and Sasuke had to catch himself with his hands on either side of Naruto's knees. He tilted his head up, looking at Naruto's almost terrified expression from only inches away.

"Why won't you fight back?" he whispered.

Naruto's eyes were huge and caught what little light there was, making them shine. It wasn't beautiful. "They're my parents. I could never hurt my parents."

Sasuke's face tightened at Naruto's trembling breath. "Yes," he whispered harshly, "What kind of son kills his parents?"

Sasuke shut his eyes and the hesitancy was clear. "I'll kill my brother anyway," he muttered, his head lowered, "I won't forgive him. He can't be forgiven."

Naruto already knew that there were some things that couldn't be forgiven. There was nothing that he could do in his life to make up for how much he had hurt, the lives that he had destroyed. How could he could be alive when all of those people were dead?

The two of them stayed in silence broken only by their breath. The loss of heat let Naruto know that Sasuke had moved away. He couldn't hear footsteps on the floor, and he didn't know whether Sasuke had lain down on his bedroll or not.

* * *

_Daddy sat in the chair as he stared at Naruto. Naruto wanted to bow his spine and hide his face, but he didn't. He had to face his present, just like he had to account for his past._

"_I can't understand why they let you live?" daddy said in a blank voice. "They don't seem to _understand_ that everything you do, the demon does as well. When you sleep well at night, when you take pleasure in the food you eat, when you feel happy. All of it is experienced by the demon. He gets to take pleasure in all of the pleasures and the happiness of your life."_

_Daddy's mouth was open, almost in the expression of shock. "How could they let it survive like that? To get this comfort? There are hundreds of humans, each with a past, people who loved them, cared for them, and dreams, that are disfigured corpses in the ground. They died in pain and fear and good god, how could they let it survive!"_

_Daddy stood up then and he stepped forward until he was above Naruto. "And it takes care of you! You, of all people! That filthy creature, that took joy in screaming destruction, it cares for you! It heals every injury that you get, it gives you power when you're so close to dying, it offers you protection!_

"_What does it tell you? Does it reassure you that you'll be okay in the end? That no matter how much it hurts you'll be able to move past it? Does it promise you that old age and sickness will never make you decay?"_

_Naruto felt so cold. His mind and his body seemed to be in perfect synchronization, they experienced this horrifying guilt as one. "I try not to," he said, "I try not to heal. I don't want to have this."_

_Daddy's eyes widened and had Naruto's hair in a tight grip. "But you do have it. You have this cursed blessing in your mind and in your skin and I can't look at you without feeling sick to my stomach. You're revolting, a horrific waste of flesh and bone, how dare you be alive?"_

"_Kill me," Naruto whispered, "I just...want to make you feel better. I want you to be happier."_

_Daddy's grip tightened and he forced Naruto to his feet and yanked him out of the room and through the front door to the porch. There was a brick ledge encompassing the side of the porch and daddy slammed Naruto's face against it._

_His nose broke instantly and the cartilage was forced back into his skull and he felt himself suddenly lose control of his body. His limbs were useless and he was being held up only by daddy's grip on his hair. _

_He tried to speak but the sounds coming out of his mouth made no sense, just a string of nothing. Daddy yanked his head back and then slammed it forward again. Droplets of blood splattering against the pale brick was the only thing that let him know he was bleeding._

_The next impact split through the skin and thin muscle of his chin before the force cracked through some of the bone. His teeth slammed together and his mouth became a tangled mess of exposed nerves. Blood flowed freely from his face. Naruto could vaguely see someone walking their dog past the front yard._

_He knew that both daddy and he himself wished that he would die._

* * *

Sasuke had tried to promise himself that he would never think of it again. The dual agony that he had felt after leaning over the bodies of his dead parents and feeling how cold their blood was. How it was thickening, congealing.

And then he stayed in a bed at the hospital, while ANBU guarded his room, worried that Itachi would come back to complete it. He'd heard whispers, snatches of conversations, about how workers were still trying to empty the district of all the dead bodies. About how they'd found a little girl and her brother who had tried hiding in an attic. They hadn't found the three-year-old and her two-year-old brother until a week after the massacre. Two little children that they wouldn't have found if not for smell.

Sasuke had almost vomited. Those were his cousins. Two children that lived down the street. He'd seen them at a park, holding tightly to the bars of the merry-go-round which their mother gently pushed. She'd laughed as the wind blew her long black hair around and her son grinned in wide-eyed delight.

Hanae. Their mother's name had been Hanae. The boy's name had been Nori. And the girl...

What was her name? How could he not remember her name? He had been three when she was born, his mother had taken him to see her. He and Itachi had walked by them at the park. She waved to him a few times. _What was her name_?

Those memories and faces. It would always juxtapose with images. Flesh stretching and sinking until all that was left was browning, thin skin stretched delicately over the girl's dainty features, now grotesque, while her wavy black hair fanned across the wooden floor.

He shouldn't. There was no sympathy, no mercy for his brother. There was nowhere in his heart that allowed any of it, his heart was empty because if he let it fill, if he let anything enter then he'd have-

_Oh god. How could he still love his brother? How could he long for the only family that he had left? How could he possibly feel any fondness when he looked back on memories of his life, of any of it? He'd missed it all and now everything was awash with blood that he wanted to wipe away so he could simply cling to his brother's blackened form, just something that could keep him alive-_

Stupid. There was nothing there, nothing but a deep, dark blackness that hurt terribly, that cut so deeply. He wished desperately for blindness, anything other than what reality was.

Reality was that little boy's face, his big eyes gone and only sockets remaining. Huddled under the arm of his sister. Had he cried for her to protect him? Had they screamed for their mother? There would have been time for them to panic. Surely Itachi would have taken out all of the ones that had the ability to fight back first. It would have been the adults, the elders, the teens. Then it would have been the children.

Had they screamed for their mother?

Mothers were worthless when they were dead. Theirs was lying at the bottom of the stairs. His had been on the floor with his father.

Worthless. How did everything get so small?

What kind of monster did that? What could possibly equate for that kind of genocide?

Reality was the part of him aching for something different, begging for some different story, a reason, a method to draw reason-

_please give me a way to forgive you_

Reality was something concrete, something that was waiting to face you as you fell. He'd hit with such force that he couldn't remember, couldn't discern, which way was up anymore.

_I used to be able to see the sky_

* * *

It was almost a relief that Sakura had instant control over her chakra.

Kakashi turned an eye towards his other two students that were glaring up at the marks they had made on the tree trunks with evident frustration. It was going to take them longer, though neither of them seemed to comprehend _why_ it was so much more difficult for them. They had far more chakra, and potential, than Sakura did.

Not to say that Sakura was weak or sub-par. The truth was that she had the ability to be a better-than-average ninja, so long as she learned to think faster and act sooner. But the simple fact was that she was never going to be as good as the other two.

Well, as good as the other two _could_ be if they would stop being so confused. Sasuke always acted as though the ground beneath him was far too hot, as though if he stayed too long, or got too comfortable, if he didn't surpass everything quickly, he would be burned.

It was almost admirable how well the kid could keep his composure. Sasuke was an unwilling spectacle in Konoha. The bloody massacre of the Uchihas had been the biggest news in years and ninjas were terrible gossips. And terribly harsh.

Sasuke was better than almost all of his peers, but he was absolutely in no way an equal to his brother. Itachi had been an ANBU captain at twelve and Kakashi had _seen_ Itachi fight before. Every adult in Konoha knew that Sasuke was no match either. The pressure in the boy's chest must be incredible at the beginning of every fight, because a single loss would be the confirmation of what everyone already knew. That he was the weak shadow.

And Itachi would either die of old age, or a group of ANBU would take him out.

They'd actually told Sasuke not to worry about it.

Kakashi felt sorry for the kid.

But Kakashi felt sorry for a lot of things. He regretted a lot. He made a lot of mistakes.

Kakashi looked idly back at Sakura. "Go and take care of Tazuna at the bridge. If anything happens, signal to me immediately."

Sakura smiled and was gone.

Kakashi wanted to get back to Tazuna's home. He felt particularly uneasy, more so than he had during the past few days. It was strange, he already knew who their enemies were, and he already knew most of their abilities and weaknesses. He had hundreds of strategies, plans, and counter-plans. There was no reason for him to feel this strange uneasiness.

"The same for you two," he said to Sasuke and Naruto, "If anything happens, signal to me immediately."

* * *

After Kakashi left, the two studiously ignored each other and worked endlessly. Once when Naruto fell with a particularly hard thump, Sasuke's frown tightened though neither of them said anything. The silence was painful.

It was also exhausting work. Sasuke hadn't brought any food and he wasn't used to expending this much energy for this long without having any food. Both of them needed water, but, once again, neither had brought any.

And there was a kind of impenetrable sameness. Almost like a safety. If one of them were to move away, it would break the beautiful repetition. Not necessarily beautiful. But safe.

The shadows lengthened and Sasuke was breathing hard, _willing_ Naruto to give up so that they could just go home and not think about it anymore. He stood up, knowing that he wouldn't be able to do another. Naruto made one final sprint up the tree and fell with a hard exhalation at the impact.

Sasuke waited a moment to make sure that Naruto wasn't getting up on his own, and then went to stand above him. "You idiot," he said, though his voice was a bit too hoarse to give it the intended malice. "It's stupid to train until you can't move."

"I know," Naruto said without opening his eyes.

"Are you expecting me to help you back?" Sasuke sneered, though already reaching for Naruto's hand, to haul him up.

Naruto's eyes remained closed. "No."

Sasuke stopped moving, "You're going to lay here?"

"It'll get better. Then I'll go back."

Sasuke stepped back and gazed down at Naruto for a moment. He went to the base of the tree to retrieve the dropped kunai. "Kakashi will get angry if I leave you. Just-"

The only difference was the sound that escaped Sasuke's mouth. A choked sound, somehow, suffocating above water. Naruto opened his eyes and sat up slightly.

Sasuke stood frozen, completely frozen. His heart had stopped beating in his chest, so he couldn't understand how it could reverberate so loudly in his head.

"Itachi," Sasuke whispered.

He was long black hair and disinterested expression. Hazy eyes and pale skin. His lips were colorless.

And he was standing in front of them.

"Itachi!" Sasuke snarled.

Itachi didn't even look at him. He didn't even waste the second it would take to flick his eyes in Sasuke's direction. Instead he stood, his gaze fixed with dispassionate interest on the figure before him.

"Naruto," Itachi said.

Naruto didn't know who it was, only that everything about him screamed of silent malice and terrible. And his presence seemed to bring Sasuke to such _rage_.

_"...to kill a certain man...I'll kill my brother...I'm going to kill my brother..."_

This was Sasuke's brother?

Naruto flinched as he heard Sasuke's voice. Itachi moved closer to Naruto. "You were how old when I left?" Itachi said, "My brother was six so you must have been about five or so. Odd that you should still look the same."

Itachi calmly caught the kunai aimed for his neck. Sasuke already had another kunai in his hand and was starting to move when Itachi turned to him suddenly and his eyes _changed_.

Sasuke gasped, the kunai dropped out of his hand and he just stared.

"Sasuke!" Naruto said, crawling towards him.

Was he under a genjutsu? If that was true then all Naruto needed to do was touch him. But once he reached Sasuke, the boy cried out and fell to the ground. Naruto was able to catch his shoulders and did his best to hold him up.

Only ten seconds had passed. What had happened?

"Sasuke?" he said, shaking him.

Sasuke opened his eyes and stared up at him. His face was completely pale and his mouth moved silently.

"No," he finally moaned, pulling himself up painfully, "No..."

Itachi ignored him as he continued to look at Naruto.

"They aren't ready for you yet," Itachi said to Naruto, "but you were here and there's no one to stop me. I wanted to see you. You're nothing to be concerned about."

* * *

And there we finish this time. Major deviation at the end there. I hope that you all liked it!

If you saw any mistakes please point them out and I will go back and edit them.

Thank you and please review!

-CR


	8. Chapter 8

Due to lack of reviews, I've decided that I'm not going to make the effort of publishing anything anymore.

And to all who would reprimand me about the art of writing; I still write regularly, but there's no reason to go to the extensive work of writing in a linear pattern, clarifying and justifying, rewriting sections that I would rather skip, working ad nauseum to keep the characters in-character and spending hours making sure that things make sense for my audience and finding a mostly silent response, I'm going to shrug and be done.

Besides, I have original fiction that I am working on. (Which is also something that I wouldn't publish for a simple flat-fee of forty bucks. I'd be completely fine just keeping it for myself) And this decision really has nothing to do with talent or being 'a true artist.' Emily Dickinson (who I certainly am nowhere near as talented as) never published her works and that is absolutely no reflection upon her true and complete calling for writing.

To those of you wonderful reviewers who gave me feedback of any sort, I very sincerely thank you and wish I could continue writing just for you. I instead suggest checking out my favorites section of my profile. There are many talented writers out there whose stories deserve attention and are extremely well-written.

::Steps off soapbox::

Later,

CR


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